The Year That Was

...full of change!

Today is Dave's last day of work at the law firm where he has spent the last five years.  His job has been an incredible learning experience but he has decided to move his practice to Boulder and work with his dad moving forward. 

Change is always scary and I know this decision didn't come lightly for Dave.  He is extremely financially responsible and building your business also means that there will be a certain amount of uncertainty as he "builds".  I am confident that this will be very positive for Dave and our family and I'm proud of him.  I am lucky to be married to such a good person who looks out for and takes care of our family.

But seriously, after this, we need to slow down with the life changes.  With Carina's arrival, Samantha starting school and both Dave and I having major job changes, I am longing for a couple of months with fewer transitions before 2011 comes to an end.

Work, Guilt and Letting Go

I've almost completed my first two weeks of work and the transition could not have gone smoother.  The people I work with are sharp, fun and innovative.  My 5 minute commute to Pearl Street is amazing.  My  manager is encouraging but gives me free reign to develop marketing programs that I believe will be successful.  We end every week with a BBQ on our outdoor patio that overlooks the Flatirons, for a native of Boulder, it couldn't get any better. 

Of course I miss the girls and it is the challenge every working parent faces, I feel guilty being away from them and then I also feel guilty when I am enjoying what I'm doing away from them.  Both Dave and I talk a lot about the value I am providing - giving the girls an example of  a successful, working mom who enjoys what I do while also loving them whole heartedly. 

The main thing I have been stressing about is breastfeeding/pumping.  Because I was anticipating being home with Carina three days a week, I didn't stock pile a lot of milk over the months I was on maternity leave.  Now, I'm running low on supply and it looks like I'll most likely need to do some formula to supplement.  Of course this isn't the end of the world but it feels like it and I'm beating myself up about the idea of it.  It's one of many things I need to give myself a break on and let go.

Summertime Delight

A few weeks ago, Pops came over to share with Samantha, one of the best parts of summer - strawberry shortcake.  They cut up the strawberries together and as you can see, she loved it as much as Pops. And, don't you think these two look alike?

Giggles!

Not only is Carina Jean the smiliest baby you've ever seen but she has been giggling a lot lately too.  I know all babies have infectious laughs so this should help make your day. Can you believe she is 5 months old already?

Best Birthday Ever.

Those are Samantha's words after her wonderful third birthday party.  For the past two days, shortly after waking up she tells me "Thank you, that was the best birthday party ever".  I must say, it is pretty rewarding to have such an appreciative kid. 

After going to the Boulder Creek Festival over Memorial Day weekend, I realized Samantha's love for this train that was giving rides to kids.  I called to inquire how much it would cost to bring the train to the park we back up to for Samantha's party.  Boy was it a hit, all the kids loved it but it was only Samantha who got on the moment the train arrived and did not get off until it was time for the train conductor to leave. 

Actually when it was time for him to pack up and leave, Samantha looked at me with a quivering voice and said "But Mommy, you told me I could ride the train again and again." She was right, I did say that, I just didn't realize she would stay on one consecutive hour and a half ride.  I convinced the train conductor to let Sammy and her friend Meara ride the train out of the park and somehow we avoided a post train meltdown.

Loving every minute

We may get this train every year!

She's 3!

Nostalgia

I am feeling nostalgic that my baby girl, Samantha Lee is turning 3.  After further inspection on Wikipidia, nostalgia is defined as: A yearning for the past, often in idealized form.[1] The word is a learned formation of a Greek compound, consisting of νόστος (nóstos), meaning "returning home", a Homeric word, and ἄλγος (álgos), meaning "pain, ache". It was described as a medical condition, a form of melancholy, in the Early Modern period, and came to be an important topic in Romanticism.[1]

I don't feel the ache to go back to when she was smaller and I certainly don't feel any desire to go back to the experience of getting her into the world.  I do wish I remembered more of every moment with her, it sure has gone fast.

Samantha is an amazing little girl.  Genuinely sweet, gentle and very kind.  She soaks up the world around her and sees and hears everything.  She is funny and sensitive at the same time.  She is everything I always wanted and more.  Happy 3rd birthday sweet Samantha.