Travel Times

I had a crazy couple of months of travel for work, I was gone for at least some of four of six weeks in a row which was pretty intense.  I was in Boston, New York City, San Francisco and San Francisco again.  Now I am back at home with no plans of travel until January which is great.

Work travel like that is confusing because as a guilty person by nature I have guilt no matter what is happening.  When I'm traveling and enjoying myself - eating out, going out with coworkers, feeling the thrill of speaking in front of others I feel guilty that I am  missing out on my time with Dave and the girls and all that is going on in their lives. It's one of those no-win scenarios of life.

I was at a birthday party in the midst of all my travel and one of the moms said to me, "Oh my, you work full time and you travel? That must be so terrible for you, and so difficult leaving them."  I didn't want to tell of the reasons why I enjoy it too.

I do think there is something to be said to owning the enjoyment.  It is great to travel without kids, to go to interesting places and do work that is fulfilling. It is also gratifying to doing that and being a huge part of the girls' lives and showing them how to be a successful woman who works.  I'm going to focus on the enjoyment rather than the guilt and see if I can't turn things around. Plus, my next trip will be with the entire family in tow, I'll enjoy that too for completely different reasons. As the french proverb states: "Gratitude is the memory of the heart" and I'm planning to keep it all very close to mine.

Chatty Carina

I've been meaning to write for months about Carina and her speech.  Primarily because it is another way she differs so much from Samantha.  It has also been a great lesson for me about how different kids can be while neither being "right" or "wrong".  Sammy, as we all know, was a late talker, she did communicate though with a wide variety of signs but she didn't do a lot of trying to communicate with words until she could really do it perfectly.

Carina on the other hand tries to say just about everything.  You ask her if she can say book, baby, dog, cow, etc. and she will attempt it almost always.  I loved when my Papa and Grandma Modina were visiting and Carina could say "Papa and Grandma Mo".  She babbles away constantly and once you get the hang of her dialect, much of it is understandable.

It is frustrating for us, and more so for her when she is trying, really, really trying, to convey something but can't quite get it across.  The other day she wanted to brush her teeth and was saying repeatedly what sounded like "stay stoooo".  I could see her getting more upset as she continued to say it more, and more, louder and louder when I finally understood she was asking about her "step stool".  (Note to Aunt Diane, those step stools are big hits around our house!).

Recently, Carina has started to string two and three words together now too, my favorites are her latest "Look at me, look at me!" or "I need that!" - such a character already.

Carina's First Day of School!

Pretty girl ready for her first day.

Monday began Carina's preschool career at the Journey School where Sammy has gone for the past year and a half.  She will go twice a week to give Grandma and Grammy a little extra relief and to give Carina some extra play time.  She is very familiar with the school itself after taking Sammy to class each week.

In my opinion, it is very special how the Journey School is set up in that the students and teachers stay with each other year to year as they progress through.  Of course some new students will be added but they do a great job at providing a stable environment for the kids and helping to develop friendships.  It is fun to think of these kids being together for the next four years until kindergarten.

I lingered in her class for about half an hour as she got comfortable and checked out her new scene and then I quietly left without making a fuss.  According to her teacher, she smiled all day (shocker!), was very active and ate well for lunch! When asked if she had fun she enthusiastically said yes!  More on all her talking in my next blog post..what a difference there is between these two girls of ours.

Sisters heading to school 

Heading into school like she owns the place!

The Month in Review

Once again I have been terribly neglectful of the blog.  I've considered giving up on it all together but I really want to have record of Carina's first few years so I'm going to attempt to make it awhile longer.  I have a lot of catching up to do and a handful of posts that are written in my head but I'll condense them into one longer post.

Since I last wrote, we had Sammy's birthday party.  It poured rain all afternoon but let up just in time for the Vern the conductor to bring the train out.  Aunt Patty and Jordan came from Omaha and Patty brought Samantha the most adorable conductor outfit which she wore proudly.

After the party, Aunt Patty, Jordan, Grammy and Sammy went up to Aspen to visit Grandma Jean and Grandpa Allen.  They had a fantastic time and Carina enjoyed having a few days being the center of attention.

Carina's shag hair was getting a bit out of control so I took her in for her first haircut, which like most things, she smiled all the way through.

The first weekend of August, we had dinner club so the girls spent the night with Grammy and Pops.  When we picked them up the next morning, we had an official bike rider on our hands!  Pops had taught Samantha the last tricks to give her the confidence and she was off! Nowadays, she spends hours circling the block. We are so proud of her!

We also were lucky enough to have two visits with Baby Lucy.  Carina has come around and rather than being jealous gave Lucy lots of love and hugs.  Sammy is a great big cousin and the three girls had a great time together.

And lastly, we went to Oklahoma last weekend to celebrate the marriage of my Grandma to Bud Barnes.  All the grandkids were bridesmaids in red and the great grandkids were flower girls.  We had a really nice visit and I couldn't be happier that my Grandma is so happy and in love.

Quite an eventful month for the Brantz family.  Hope you all are enjoying your summer.  The girls both start school on Monday so I'll report how Carina does as she starts preschool soon!

Much Needed Vacation!

Dave and I just returned from an incredible 8 day vacation without the kids.  We went on a dive trip to Virgin Gorda in the British Virgin Islands with a group of great friends and then we stopped back through Florida for the wedding of Dave's cousin Dan in Palm Beach.

We have never left both kids for so long and my parents were on full time duty with Dave's parents in Florida  visiting Molly, Brian and Lucy.  I was feeling very anxious about leaving, the toll it would take on my parents and about how Samantha and Carina would do being apart from us for so long.

It was a long travel day getting to the resort but once we had some time to settle in, we had the best time.  I had forgotten how much I enjoy scuba diving and it was great to have time alone with Dave to remember why we like each other so much.  After morning dives, we lay on the beach, floated in the water, enjoyed fruity rum drinks, read and laughed with our friends.  It was one of those vacations that I didn't realize until we were doing it, how much I needed it.

And, of course the girls did great and my mom (and even my dad and sister too) were rock stars with the kids.  Carina went to her own class at Sammy's school during the week which she absolutely loved.  I was a bit nervous on one of our last days as Sammy gave us the cold shoulder and looked away during our Skype conversation, but I think her birthday served as the perfect distraction to any animosity she had when we got home.  Everyone survived just fine - remind me to do it more often! 

Officially Four

As I put Samantha to bed last night we discussed her birthday and she asked me if tomorrow was going to be her birthday "officially".  To which I replied yes.  So, happy official birthday to my sweet Samantha.

I have been describing Samantha lately as a four year old in a 65 year old mind.  She talks in a proper way with a truly impressive vocabulary.  She is extremely nurturing and often worried about her friends at school and always about her baby sister that they are being a little too reckless. She is extremely focused and in her ballet class, at school or at pottery is always the most attentive to teachers and excels at following rules.  She has a heart of gold and I am often taken aback by her genuine concern for others, her sweet disposition and her incredible manners.

For some time she has been requesting a pedal bike for her birthday. She is an impressive Strider but she was ready to move on to greater things.  She was delighted to see her purple and pink (her very favorite colors), princess, pedal bike.  And, of course she chose to wear a princess dress and crown for her birthday day.  We are celebrating with the train in the park with a big party this Friday.  Happy birthday to my sweet, kind, incredibly smart and beautiful Sammy Lee.  We are so proud to be your parents!

Closer to Fine

Sunday night I went to the Indigo Girls concert at Chautauqua auditorium.  It is a rustic, intimate venue and is historic Boulder which I love.  I went with two friends that went to law school with Dave and before the concert, we enjoyed a beautiful evening on the lawn with a picnic dinner with wine. 

Indigo Girls always make me think of my best friend Ryan, she and I were obsessed with the Indigo Girls in college.  We spent many a night smoking cigarettes, writing poetry and listening to emotional music about life and mapping out our astrological charts.  When I listen to their music I feel 19 again and have a strange feeling of wanting to laugh hysterically and cry at the same time.

As a Christmas gift in 1997, Ryan got us both tickets to see the Indigo Girls.  Unfortunately about an hour before we were set to leave, Ryan was unable to find the tickets.  We literally ripped apart the entire house we lived in and Ryan was sobbing.  We even went to the music store to try and repurchase the tickets but it was sold out.  To make up for our heart ache over the lost tickets, we got tickets to the Lilith Fair that summer to see Indigo Girls along with other “all women” shows which prompted my Dad to have a very awkward conversation about whether or not I was a lesbian.  With all the time I spent with Ryan, my tongue piercing and affinity for the Indigo Girls, his coworker deemed me as a “definite lesbian”.

I think my favorite Indigo Girls song is The Wood and I was so happy to hear them play it on Sunday.  It seems to have summed up not only my college years but the last few years as well.  The end of the song says:

And even I have got to laugh at me

No one gets to miss the storm of what will be

Just holding on for the ride

The wood is tired and the wood is old

We'll make it fine if the weather holds

But if the weather holds we'll have missed the point

And, that's where I need to go…

Changing the Tide

I'll admit I was feeling nervous as this week approached.  This is the dreaded week of the year for me and was an especially hard one for me last year as I got laid off from my job. Rather than getting horrible news this year, I found out that I was promoted at work. Yay!

My new job has been a blessing in more ways than I can explain.  I have an incredible group of friends now that I didn't have last year. I have been given a purpose to build and grow a business and marketing group that I frankly wasn't aware existed or was possible for me.

My blog is certainly suffering because I'm so busy with work.  I consistently think about giving up this blog but want to do my best to keep it alive for another year.  Just know that things with the Brantz Family and babies are well.  Better than ever, in fact.

Dinner Club - Our Turn

Dinner club had taken a bit of a hiatus but we brought it back on Saturday at our house.  We prepared a Mexican fiesta complete with homemade salsa, guacamole, tortilla soup, chicken enchiladas, black bean salad, spanish rice and tres leches cake.  If I do say so myself, it was delicious and it was so fun to get the group back together.  We had our guys vs. girls charades face off once again and the ladies won, second year in a row.  

Not What I Was Expecting

I woke up on Wednesday to Samantha wishing me happy birthday, was serenaded by my Grandma and then went to wake up Carina.  It smelled awful in her room and I quickly realized she had thrown up all over her crib at some point in the night.  Not only did she have vomit all over her crib but it was caked into her hair and pajamas.

My mom arrived and helped me clean Carina up and everyone seemed alright as I left for work.  Lucky for me I have an amazing and kind group of people that I work with.  I had flowers and cards on my desk when I arrived which was incredibly thoughtful and we all went to lunch to celebrate my birthday.  Have I mentioned how much I love my job and the people I work with?

I had plans to go with Dave, the girls, my parents and in-laws to dinner but shortly after naps it was Samantha's round of vomiting.  We called off dinner and instead I spent my evening cleaning up and looking after Sammy.  Wasn't exactly the day I was expecting but it was still filled with so much joy and I was humbled by all the kind wishes of my friends.

A few weeks ago I attended the funeral of a co-worker of mine from Return Path.  This strong, sassy, hilarious and vibrant woman had battled cancer for nearly a decade and was a single mother to a young daughter.  I was struck after her death by all the inspiring words on her Facebook page.  There was an outpouring of love where everyone (me included) described the impact she had made on our lives.  I was very empty though knowing that we missed our chance to tell her. Rather than dwelling on the moments I have missed with people close to my heart, I decided on my birthday that my resolution this year is to let everyone know on their birthdays what they mean to me and how glad I am that they were born.

Series of Three

Madeline - Easter 1994

Samantha - Easter 2009

Carina - Easter 2012

An Easter Tradition

Carina was too small last year to hold up all the lace this dress has to offer.  So we had to pull it out this year and take a little photo shoot.  You may remember we had Samantha in the same dress here, the dress originally belonged to my sister Madeline.  

We had a big weekend celebrating Passover on Friday night, Easter on Sunday and then I threw a baby shower for my friend Annie Polk Sunday afternoon.  Samantha told me that her favorite part of Passover was finding the afikomen and her favorite part of Easter was finding the eggs because she is an excellent finder.  

Samantha is sporting an adorable new bob haircut these days.  Every time I turn around she is saying clever things and explaining to me the way she sees the world.  She continues to impress us with her memory and recognition. As I celebrate my birthday, I feel so fortunate for these girls, my amazing husband and our wonderful family, parents...even the dog. ;) 

Carina's One Year Stats

Life has been busy, busy, busy these days.  I was in Austin for work for South by Southwest which was the culmination of three back to back weeks traveling somewhere.  I am ready for some down time, at home with the girls and Dave for a while.  I have been behind posting Carina's one year stats:


Height: 29 1/2 - 50%
Weight: 19 lbs 14 oz - 25%
Head Circ: 18 3/4 - 95%


Samantha's Stats at a Year:
Height: 28 3/4 inches - 35%
Weight: 20 pounds 14.5 ounces - 45%
Head Circ: 18 3/4 inches - 97% 

Seriously, where did these girls get these giant heads? I've really been enjoying watching the two girls play.  They giggle and splash together in the bath, they roll the ball to each other, play with dishes and carry their dolls.  Samantha pushes Carina around on her little car and now that the weather has been nice, there is the perfect spot for Carina on the back of Sammy's bike so that they can ride together.  The whole sister bond is pretty incredible to watch.  

CJB x Two

Last weekend we flew to Omaha to spend time with Dave's family and have the long awaited meeting of Carina Jean and her Great Grandmother Carol Jean. We spent one night with Grandma Carol and Samantha and Carina loved playing with her doll collection and showing off their smarts.  

Then we spent the next few days at Aunt Patty and Uncle Steve's house.   Samantha and Carina had such an amazing, memorable experience with their Nogg cousins. They all fight for their attention and they ran around, put on shows, played dress up and hugged endlessly.  We got to meet the newest Nogg, sweet Lizzy, who is just beautiful with a head full of amazing, wild hair.  Samantha even got to attend her very first play with Grammy and Aunt Patty.   As an added treat we got to visit with Grandpa Bud and even got to see Aunt Diane.  

Nothing better than quality family time! And, now that I'm caught up on my laundry I am off again for a work trip to Austin for the weekend.  

The City by the Bay

I just returned from a three night trip to San Francisco for work.  I returned to a house with no power from the strong winds and a grouchy family.  I feel like anything over two nights away ends rough.  Almost always, on the night I return, Samantha has a hysterical meltdown over something small and it is clear she needs some extra love and attention from mom.  I do love my job and being away is liberating in many ways but there is always the guilt after I see how it affects the girls. 

I was in San Francisco for an industry conference that I attended many times with my previous job.  Since the last time I attended, my colleague at Return Path and friend, JD Falk, passed away from cancer.  JD was a funky, brilliant, quiet, kind and generous man.  He was also a leader within the organization that runs the conference, working to make the internet safe and to fight spam.  They had a very nice memorial service/party to honor JD but I was struck throughout my time at the conference at the intensity of his absence.  I kept thinking I saw him or wondering where he was and expecting to run into him.  There is a fitting quote from Oscar Wilde that I read that says “It is an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world.” Perhaps it was the opposite of JD’s absence but rather he was everywhere I turned and on my mind all week. 

On a brighter note, I was able to visit a number of babies that I had not yet met in the San Francisco area.  I visited our college friend John and his son Rowan (Carina’s future boyfriend).  I saw our dear friend Carina and her new baby Quinn and two year old daughter Bailey and I got to catch up with my fun and sassy friend Jess who I worked with ages ago and met her sweet baby Caleb.  If you know me, you know how much I love babies and it was fun to get in my fill on the trip.  

Happy Feet

Carina has been walking for a few weeks but was defaulting to crawling because frankly, she can get around more quickly crawling.  Just in the past few days though she has been sticking to moving on her feet as you can see here.

Carina's Winter One-derland

We celebrated Carina's first birthday with her own winter one-derland.  Keeping with our theme, mother nature supplied about a foot of snow the day before the party and it was a chilly day.  My friend Ayeisha helped me create a bunch of pom pom ball decorations in various colors (snowballs of course) and I cut out snowflakes to go around a big collage of Carina's first year of life.

My very talented friend Deirdre, who is a pastry chef, created cupcakes to match the theme with snowflakes, hearts and the letter C and then the most amazing cake with a little snowman on top.

The birthday girl was all smiles as usual and she seemed quite pleased with herself after hearing the crowd sing Happy Birthday to her.  She has been pretty darn adorable showing people she is one and putting up her finger when people ask as you can see here with Grammy.  She usually has a sweet tooth and I was shocked she didn't eat the cake although, that was the start of her hunger strike!  You can see all the photos of the big event here.

Happy Birthday Carina!

This year has come and gone so quickly, it is hard to imagine our lives without our little, spunky, adventurous, sunshiny girl. Happy 1st birthday Carina Jean Brantz! 

If you remember, I was very skeptical that it would possible to love a second child as much as I loved Samantha. After one year with Carina Jean, the notion that I could not have more than enough love for both of them is just ridiculous.  They are so completely different and I love that too, it is almost as if Carina has taught me new and different ways to love. 

Carina is truly magical. Everywhere we go people ask if she is always so smiley and happy. She captures the attention of strangers and her cheerful disposition is contagious.  People walk away from her smiling too.  I know I do.

In preparation for her big day, Carina has officially started walking!  She went from taking a step here and there to just going for it and walking across the room.  Apparently she has also decided that as a one year old, she no longer can eat “baby” food and has been on a bit of a hunger strike - shaking her head no whenever she sees a spoonful coming her way. With only two teeth, I’m having a hard time coming up with what to feed her and dreading her weigh in and the one year checkup.

I’ll have more on her first birthday party we had last weekend and of course a video of her wobbly walking later in the week!    Happy birthday CJ Smiley!

The Laugh is Worth It!

Dave decided to make the most of the big snowstorm we had this past week and take Samantha sledding.  They both had a wonderful time, I'm not sure who had more fun but Samantha's laugh at the end of this video is so classic.

Finally!

Although Carina's doctor assured us that she would not be toothless when she went off to college, I was really starting to wonder.  Who has ever heard of a baby almost 12 months old and not a single tooth?  This past weekend, her first tooth broke through.  She is more fussy than usual but of course...still smiling.

A Bit of Bragging

Matching outfits with Daisy

I feel that I keep missing or forgetting to tell stories of Samantha.  I’m the first to admit that 2 ½ to 3 was not my favorite stage.  She was testing the limits and learning how to express herself and her emotions.  Over the past 6 months, she has really come out of her shell.  Most people that see her now can’t believe how much more outgoing she is and what a charming personality she has.  Kids at preschool love her and all the other parents are always surprised to hear she was ever shy. 

Now, I know that every parent thinks their kids are brilliant, but since you are reading this blog, you get to hear how Sammy is.  She has an incredible memory and if you watch her while someone is reading to her or teaching her something, she pays such close attention that she literally mouths the words to herself, committing it to memory.  One of the gifts Grammy and Pops gave her for Hanukkah was the book Tiki Tiki Tembo.  This was one of Dave’s favorite books growing up and tells a detailed story of the custom in ancient China for parents to honor their first born with long, elaborate names. 

This is a children’s book, yes.  But, it is 44 pages with difficult words and a very long name.  After hearing the book once, she could recite his name: Tikki Tikki Tembo-no Sa Rembo-chari Bari Ruchi-pip Peri Pembo.  A month later, she truly can say every word along with me while reading the entire book.  Trust me, I couldn’t come close to reading the book word for word from memory and this is one of many books that she does this with.  I’m often amazed at what she soaks in and stores in that head of hers.

As happy I am to share how smart she is, I am most proud of Samantha’s kindness.  When asked what she wanted from Santa this year she chose a special shopping cart she had seen that had a seat for her doll Daisy because as she said “That could be a gift that both she and Daisy could share”.  She is incredibly thoughtful and encouraging, saying things to me like “Oh Mommy, don’t worry, try your best!” when she sees I am frustrated.  She is gentle with Carina and other children, hugging and nurturing them.  My description isn’t doing her justice but she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.  You know when you see a mischievous look in a child’s eyes and you know they are up to something? I’ve never seen it in this kid and she definitely didn’t get that from me.  I give her Daddy all the credit for her kindhearted, thoughtful and compassionate nature.  She brings me such joy.  

Working Moms

I really loved this article on the findings of research done on satisfaction of working mothers.  Not because I want to begin a debate on whether every mother should or should not work but because I think it explained many of the reasons why working has been very beneficial to my mental and emotional happiness. Despite Grandma Carol being very disappointed that I work and that we are letting our mothers raise our children, it works for us! My favorite piece of the article says:
After decades of research on how working mothers affect their children, somebody’s finally gotten around to investigating how it affects the moms. What makes moms less likely to report depression and sleep disorders? Turns out for many, it’s having a job — a concept that certainly demands further research. The study also takes a big step toward validating the ongoing need for flexibility in the American workplace – and at home. Because what this gets at is the awesome power of balance.

What’s right for any family is what makes the members within it as happy and fulfilled as possible. And that’s not a one-size fits all proposition. But the idea that both work and parenting – especially in combination – can contribute to a woman’s mental and physical health is as good an excuse as any for a general moratorium on the whole ridiculous “mommy wars” meme. We don’t have to be in opposite camps, guilt-tripping each other and over-justifying our life choices. We’re complicated beings and the things that satisfy us are diverse. They’re our children and our careers, our earning power and our rocking version of “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” Nobody said it was easy. But maybe if you want to have it all, a good place to start is by doing it all.

Especially after starting my new position this year, I am extremely motivated and excited about work.  It has given me a new drive that I believe helps me be a better person and a better mom.  I am proud that I can have a successful career and teach my girls that too.  I feel so incredibly lucky because our girls are with our moms during the days while we both work.  And, I really feel like both of us working is good for our marriage because it truly is a partnership.  We both work, we both clean, we both help with the kids, we both get up at night and we both make money.  Here's to doing it all in 2012!

A New Year

I've really been neglecting this blog. It's not that I don't have things to write about, it is making the time to do it in the midst of everything else going on. I have been doing the obligatory introspection of the year and what I want for 2012.

This past year was a doozie for sure.  My friend Regan kept telling me that 2011 was a year for everyone to shed things that do not serve them.  I'm very good in difficult situations.  I'm a good person to be with you at the hospital or to think quickly and act fast in a crisis.  The down side of how I deal is that it is usually months after things happen that I finally process them.  My main resolution this year is to be kind to myself as I work through the aftermath of 2011.  That and to do a mini triathalon with my mother in law in August!

Of course there is always so much to be thankful for. I know I am biased but I have these two incredible children that impress and surprise me every day.  I have an amazing husband who is so helpful and loving.  Carina is full of life and spunk - she has started taking steps here and there.  Samantha is brilliant and has a genuinely kind heart.  I have future posts in the back of my head to catch you all up coming soon! Happy New Year!  I hope you all have the love, happiness and adventure that I am looking for in 2012!