Letting Go of the Grudge in 2009

I come from a long line of grudge holders. My grandfather didn't talk to his own brother for over 15 years because of an argument they got in. My mom is pretty bad herself and I might seem like I let things go, but trust me I don't. I've talked before on this blog about how I also have a tendency to feel guilty about things. I've realized that just as it is hard for me to forgive others, it is even harder for me to forgive myself.

So, my number one resolution for 2009 is to let some personal grudges go (I'll work on forgiving the rest of you next year). Below is a short list of some of the things I regularly feel guilty or upset with myself about - but that I am letting go of in 2009.

* About three years ago, I missed a meeting with my CEO because I stayed out late with my coworkers in NYC the night before. I still feel horrible about how irresponsible that was.

* I didn't invite my friend Deirdre to our wedding. Dave made a rule that if we hadn't kept in touch with people we shouldn't invite them. She is a good friend now and I always feel bad she wasn't there.

* I am upset that my labor was so hard and lasted so long. I feel like I should have asked the nurse to get the doctor before I pushed for two hours. Somehow I feel like I could have avoided how horrible the whole experience was.

* I feel bad that I talk about how horrible my labor was when I have such a precious, good natured and beautiful baby.

-- Oh and a side note for my Grandma, none of these things are true. You know I am perfect and I love you.

Here's to letting it go in 2009! Happy New Year!!

O hanukkah O hanukkah, Come light the menorah ...


Samantha celebrated her first night of her first Hanukkah on Sunday. Not only did she get a very fun exersaucer from her Grammy and G-daddy, she got to play with all of her favorite people including baby Zoe. We all ate delicious latkes and Judy's famous matzo ball soup (my favorite). You can see all the Hanukkah pictures here. We will continue the celebration over the 8 nights of Hanukkah. This is the beginning of a lifetime of holiday overload in her interfaith family. Let the fun begin!

Sammy and Santa x Two

As I said in my last post, Samantha met Santa at the mall last week. Santa Claus also made a surprise appearance at Deirdre's brunch on Sunday. That was hilarious. Deirdre's daughter Marina was not a fan, but Samantha didn't seem to be phased by him.



The FAKE Santa!

I will warn you that this story is not very politically correct. Today we took Samantha to get her first picture taken with Santa. She looked adorable and smiled for Santa - I'll scan the picture soon so you can see.

As we made plans for the visit to Santa, I was thinking about a funny Santa experience I had as a kid. When I was about 5 years old we went to visit my grandparents in Oklahoma for Christmas. I remember this Christmas really well, probably because I was at an age where I wholeheartedly believed in Santa Claus. I can recall being concerned about how Santa would find me in Oklahoma if he knew I lived in Colorado.

My Grandma got me all decked out in my new Denver Broncos cheerleading outfit that she made for me and we set off to the mall to get my photo taken with Santa. As my Grandma tells it, as we walked into the mall I gasped and exclaimed to her "Oh no Grandma! It's a FAKE!" Being the accommodating young girl that I was (and a good actress) I went ahead and climbed onto this so-called Santa's lap and got my photo taken. So, why was I so sure that it was a fake you ask? My Grandma scanned the picture here for me to share the answer with all of you.

Live in the Moment


Last week Samantha passed the five month mark. It is amazing to me how much she learns and develops every day. It is as though every few weeks she is a whole new baby. I try not to dwell on how fast it is going by because it really is special to watch her grow and learn.

She is finally rolling over now - my Aunt Paula said that Samantha would never roll over because nobody ever puts her down and boy is that true. But she is starting to get heavy for me to hold all the time and I think that helped to encourage me to lay her down more and get her rolling! She can also sit up on her own for a little bit.

Samantha is very ticklish and she laughs in delight when I tickle her. She has also quickly fallen for Javier the pug. She thinks he is the greatest thing around. She has been known to snap right out of crying to give Javier a big smile. He is not as fond of her but I'm sure he will come around when she can throw him some food.

When we were in Nebraska I noticed that she really enjoyed interactive toys with music and lights. We set up this jumper at my parents' house and although she hasn't gotten the hang of jumping, she definitely enjoys spinning around and playing with all the fun, musical toys. I posted some new photos here, I need to work on getting pictures from our trip to Nebraska.

Smooth Traveling

After our trip to Florida, I definitely had my reservations about our trip to Nebraska for Thanksgiving and the family reunion. I felt like I had just gotten Samantha back to a normal sleep routine after the first trip and I was not looking forward to being away from home again.

I am happy to report that we had a wonderful trip. For starters, the hour long flight was a breeze. We stayed at Aunt Patty and Uncle Steve's house which made things so easy. They have a beautiful and large home with plenty of room for all of us. They also have a great set up with a crib, monitor and toys. Aunt Patty made sure we had everything we needed for Samantha and it was great to be at a house for the holiday and events so that if it was nap time, Samantha could sleep rather than miss her nap or have a meltdown.

It was so fun to see everyone and visit with the cousins. And, thanks to my mother in law Judy, I even got to do some extra things like get a pedicure and go to a party while Samantha was settled and happy with her Grammy.

Next up...Aspen after Christmas. With parents like us, Samantha is going to have to learn how to be a good traveler one way or another!

Baby Mania

Our friends Devin and Carina Hedrick and Merry Todd were in town for a wedding this weekend. It was really good to see them all and we used their visit as an excuse to get all the new 2008 babies together at a fabulous brunch at Deirdre's house. I love going to Deirdre's house, she never does anything halfway. In my opinion she is superwoman. She has two beautiful kids and somehow manages to host the best get togethers. This was a brunch with delicious homemade food - bread pudding, quiche, pastries...unbelievable.

It was so fun to introduce the babies. Samantha is the oldest of the bunch, born on July 3rd. Connor Fayfield is up next, born on September 10th and Mason Misner is the newest arrival, born on October 22nd. I love thinking of these kids growing up together and being great friends. As you can see, Samantha loves them both already.

You can view all the baby photos along with pictures from our trip to Key West and Samantha's latest adventures here.

One Final Post on Breastfeeding

My friend and former boss Jennifer Wilson has given me some great advice and words of wisdom over the years. I consider her one of my "role model moms". During my pregnancy when I was stressed about breastfeeding I told her some of the horror stories I had heard and she told me that people only talk about breastfeeding when they are having a difficult time and they forget to discuss it once things are going smoothly. She encouraged me to give it a try and told me what a wonderful experience she had breastfeeding her kids.

That is why I wanted to write one final blog post about breastfeeding and how happy I am that I stuck with it. I know it sounds all hippie Boulder but I love sharing feeding time with Samantha. It truly is a bonding experience. Along with all the benefits for Samantha like boosting intelligence and helping fight and protect against infections, allergies, respiratory problems and disease, it also makes me feel good. I've heard before that you have a release of oxytocin while you nurse and I believe it. Plus, it has definitely helped burn the calories after giving birth.

Don't worry, I won't continue past the year mark but I want to encourage the new moms I know to hang in there and stick with it, in my opinion it really is worth it. Thanks again Jennifer for all your insight and encouragement and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

What a Difference Some Sleep Makes!

For whatever reason, ever since our trip to Florida, Samantha has not been sleeping well. Last week was difficult and Samantha began waking in the night to eat which she has not done for almost two months. I was irritable and emotional, it is hard to go without sleep but it is even harder to go without sleep while you work and entertain friends.

I have also been putting off moving Samantha into her crib at night. She has slept in her bassinet next to our bed from the beginning and I love being able to peek at her at any moment. I was really having abandonment issues putting her in the other room. But, I decided on Friday that it was time to make the move (God help me when she leaves for college). She slept okay on Friday and Saturday night but I didn't...I was glued to the monitor and racing into her room after any peep.

Then, this morning I awoke after more than 8 glorious, uninterrupted hours of sleep and felt a wave of panic. I looked to monitor and the light was off, the battery had died! I ran to her room where she was making some fussy noises and immediately began to feel guilty. Guilty yes, but refreshed too. Plus, everyone tells me that if she was really crying and needed me, I would have heard her - her room is about two feet from ours after all. I have to admit, I feel like a new person - I might have to turn the monitor off more often!

No Tears from Mom

We went to Samantha's four month doctor's appointment today. I didn't even cry during the shots this time and the doctor says she is perfect, just as I suspected. We brought the following list of paranoid new parent questions which the doctor answered:
  1. A lot of people have been commenting on her weight, is she too heavy? The doctor said absolutely not. As long as I am not feeding her every time she fusses and she is on a schedule, she is doing great. Breast fed babies double and triple their weight sooner than formula fed babies and the fact that she is gaining weight means she is healthy.
  2. Dave thinks her ears are different sizes, should we be worried? The doctor said absolutely not and did not notice any difference.
  3. Should she have a set nap schedule now? The doctor said we should aim for a morning and afternoon nap, roughly at the same time of day.
  4. Her belly button still looks like it has dark spots from the umbilical cord, is that normal? He told us that we can clean those remnants of her umbilical cord right out of there and showed us how.
  5. Should I begin introducing cereal into her diet? He said I could but said he would prefer if we waited until she was closer to six months.
Her stats were:

Length - 24.5 inches/55 percentile
Weight - 15 lbs 3 oz/ 80 percentile
Head Circumference - 16.5 inches/75 percentile

I can't believe she is already four months old! The time is really flying by.

Guilty Mom

I have always been easily guilted. It is something I am working on because I believe that I should do things because I want to, not just because I feel like someone will be upset with me or because I have to do it. At some point you have to trust yourself too but this whole guilt thing can get really out of hand in motherhood.

Because Samantha is a baby and can't tell me "why" she is upset, I automatically blame myself. If she wakes in the night, I can only assume it is because of something I did. If she is hot or cold, or hungry or tired it is hard not to think of a million things I must have done wrong.

She did great on our first plane ride to Florida but once we arrived she had her first major meltdown. She cried hysterically for over an hour - it was horrible and she wasn't quite herself the whole weekend. I'm sure it didn't help that we were in a new place and a lot of different people were trying to hold her and offer suggestions of what I should do. Was it the altitude change, the plane ride, her ears, the people....it is hard not to feel guilty when you don't know what to do to make her happy.

Everyone warned me that the unsolicited advice I complained about in pregnancy here, would continue after the baby is born. Now, according to others, she eats too much, is getting too fat, is out too late, needs to take her nap, etc. I have even had strangers stop me to offer tidbits of advice. Pretty soon I'm going to start replying to them with suggestions on how they should style their hair or lose weight as well!

I've noticed that all my blog posts are beginning to tie together. The biggest lesson that I have had as a mother is to encourage moms, don't offer any advice, be sensitive and think before you talk. Moms are already doubting themselves and worrying about their kids without new reasons from others to feel guilty. I'm going to focus on not being so hard on moms, including myself!

Airport Spaz

Tomorrow we are taking Samantha on her first flight. I am a little nervous about the whole ordeal for a number of reasons, number one being my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love to travel with Dave. We have been on so many fabulous trips and he is the best travel companion...once we get to the location we are traveling to.

Dave is what I like to call an airport spaz. It seems that this has come about from some traumatic experiences in childhood where the entire Brantz family was racing to a flight or nearly missing a vacation. Dave prefers to be at the airport hours early, he starts getting agitated a few days before a trip and he is just plain grouchy while we travel. That phenomenon along with an infant, more gear than we have ever had and his parents traveling with us, should make for an interesting trip tomorrow.

I'm sure Samantha will be perfectly fine. I did do an internet search on how to change a diaper on a plane and what the procedure is to go through security with a baby. I'll let you know how it goes, wish me luck!

Sammy the Celebrity

Yesterday, my mom and I were admiring what an adorable baby Samantha is in this pumpkin photo. My mom decided to send in the photo to Live! with Regis and Kelly, they are showing photos of kids in Halloween costumes this week and of course my mom thought Samantha would be a hit. Sure enough, it isn't just us that thinks she is cute! The show contacted us today saying they would like to show the photo this week on air. I sent in our release for the photo and asked them what day she would be on. I'll let you know if I find out any specifics but keep an eye out in the next few days for Sammy the celebrity baby!

Early Halloween

This Friday, on Halloween, we will be taking Samantha on her first flight to go to Florida for Dave's cousin Anna's wedding in Key West. She has a very cute cat costume that her Grammy bought her to wear on the plane but since she will be gone, we did some fun things to celebrate Halloween over the weekend.

On Saturday we went to the Halloween party at the gym where she caught up with her boyfriend Drake who was dressed as a pumpkin. Then yesterday we did pumpkin carving at Sara's house. We each carved a pumpkin and then put Samantha inside the pumpkin for a photo shoot. We have decided that pumpkin carving is a new friend tradition that we will always do at Sara's.

You can check out all the photos here, as you can see Samantha doesn't ever get any attention! I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends who love Samantha so much.

Aunt Paula's Beauty Salon


Last week my Aunt Paula was in town visiting from Oklahoma. Samantha had fun visiting with her Great Aunt and Paula had fun doing Samantha's hair. Usually Samantha gets fussy with me when I try to figure out what to do with her hair but she let Aunt Paula play away. Apparently in my family, using Baby Magic as styling gel is common practice. My mom had tried to explain this to me before but Aunt Paula put it to work. She had a curl on top of Samantha's head, put bows in her hair and had her smelling extra good with that lotion in her hair every day.

I've tried, but I still can't get the curl as good as Aunt Paula. You can see some of her hairdos in the new pictures I posted here.

Party Girl

As I have mentioned before, we lucked out with an exceptionally easy baby. She sleeps on the go, she doesn't cry much and she is an overall happy girl. We are social people and we really haven't slowed down too much since Samantha has joined us. I didn't think much of it until our friend Andrew pointed it out, but we just pack Samantha up and bring her along everywhere we go. Most of our friends do not have babies so parties are still late but Samantha does not seem to mind. In fact, she is usually the hit of the party. I figure we should take advantage of this age when she can sleep in our arms and doesn't have a set bed time.

Samantha has been to a fashion show, out to eat all over town, to the bowling alley and to a handful of parties. This weekend, at Autumn and Mike's birthday party, someone who I had just met said to me "It's awfully late to have a baby out at a party". My initial reaction was to feel defensive but I decided instead to feel grateful for our sweet baby (that guy was obviously just jealous anyway). With parents like us, of course Samantha was destined to be a party girl. I will let you know how that works out for us in about 16 years.

Being a Woman is Hard

This is my first week back to work. I really have the most ideal work situation. My mom watches Samantha, I work from my parents house two days a week, go into the office two days a week and have Fridays off. I keep saying that I wouldn't be able to leave Samantha with anyone but my mom, but the truth is, everyone does what they have to do. Lucky for me, I have an extraordinary mom and employer who are both helping me create a great arrangement.

I have to say that once again I have been struck by how difficult it is to be a woman. I don't want this to be a complaining rant but rather an explanation of how much we should appreciate women. We carry children for 10 months and go through difficult labors. We learn to breast feed and wake in the night often to care for our children. We have a profound attachment to our children and love them like crazy. We bathe them and sing to them and interact with them all day long. For some of us, we return to work where we drop kids off at daycare, pack lunches, pump milk on our breaks and still miss our babies so much we want to cry.

After having Samantha I have such an appreciation for my own mother and for other moms I know. There is nothing like a mother's love, like her dedication to children and to everything that is involved. It is hard work but worth it. Moms don't get enough credit and we don't tell our friends, our sisters, our moms, our grandmas how much we admire them. Do me a favor today and tell a mom somewhere what a great job she is doing.

Back to Boot Camp

Samantha is three months today! I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I love being a mom, I knew I would enjoy motherhood but I love it far more than I could imagine. Samantha is really fun and I just can't get enough of her. I remember telling my mom I wanted her to stop growing after the first week because I loved the stage she was in. My mom told me that every stage would be my favorite and so far it is true. These days she is all smiles and really taking in her surroundings. She is such a good baby. I posted new pictures today for you all to see how cute she is.

Last night I started my Fit Quest boot camp class again. I'm only taking it once a week while I get back into the swing of things and normally I will take it on Mondays. It was definitely tough to get back into the gym but it feels good too. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger right?

Next week, I'm back to work- I'll let you know how it goes!

Go Rays!

We picked a good year to join the Tampa Bay Rays bandwagon. For those of you who don't know, Molly's boyfriend Brian works for the Rays and mainly because the Rockies are no good, we like Brian and because we have hats, shirts, and baby gear, etc. we decided to root for the Rays this year.

The Rays are what the Rockies were last year... the feel-good story of the year. They beat the Red Sox last night and are getting very close to the playoffs for the first time ever. Samantha had a Tampa Bay Rays photo shoot yesterday which ended up being good luck for the team. You can see her photos here. We are hoping Uncle Brian can get her on the big screen at the next baseball game. Go RAYS!!

Reading and Breastfeeding

So many people told me to get my reading in before having Samantha. Once she is born, they told me, you won't be doing any reading at all. I have found that quite the opposite has been true. I started reading during the middle of the night feedings to help me get back to sleep and I realized that reading while breastfeeding was much better than staring off into space, watching TV or letting my mind wander. Plus, it is a great use all that time I spend feeding Samantha - I think I have been averaging about a book a week.

For over a year my mom and younger sister have been encouraging me to read "the vampire book" as they call it. My mom brought over Twilight while I was on bed rest and it wasn't until about a month ago that I finally decided to read it. After reading the first 20 pages, I explained to my younger sister that this teen book was rather juvenile for me. I told her that I would read this one but no others in the series (there are 4 books total in the saga).

I had to quickly call Madeline and apologize as I couldn't put the book down. I was also calling to ask if she could bring me the second book. I never got hooked to the Harry Potter books but I imagine that the obsession I have is similar to what everyone was raving about. It is fair to say that I am hooked on the vampire books! I am sad that I am almost finished with the fourth and final book now but I recommend them to anyone looking for a thrilling and fun series.

We Both Cried

We survived the 2 month doctor's appointment and the immunizations. Good thing Dave was there to hold us together because both Samantha and I were crying. I will admit that I was more of a baby than she was. The doctor says she looks great and is perfect in every way.

Her stats are:
Weight: 12 lbs 2.5 ounces - 80th percentile
Length: 23 inches - 75th percentile
Head: 15.5 inches - 70th percentile

Mom and Baby Yoga

Today Samantha and I attended Mom and Baby Yoga. Come on, I'm honestly surprised it took me two months to attend a mom and baby yoga class. I warned you that I am very Boulder when it comes down to it. Even better, it wasn't nearly as silly as the music class we went to yesterday where we danced around the room with ribbons and played instruments with the babies. I have to say I really like the community of new moms that go to the classes and to do things with Samantha that I wouldn't think to do at home. It is also fun to see other babies at different stages.

Tomorrow is Samantha's two month doctor's appointment. I have been having anxiety about having to get her shots but I am anxious to hear where she is on the growth charts. If the classes I have been to are any indication, she is very big! I'll let you know how she measures up.

Postage Due

I was very proud of myself for getting Samantha's announcements out. It was another one of those projects that becomes much more difficult with a baby. But, I stuffed the 150 envelopes, printed the labels and got them all ready -- all while I bounced with Samantha in her baby carrier.

Much to my dismay, I received about 10 back in the mail the next day with stamps that read "insufficient postage". Apparently the small square size does not run properly through the mail reader. I've heard that some arrived without problems but many arrived with postage due. I apologize for anyone who has had to pay to get mail from us!

You have to admit though, she is pretty darn cute! If I don't have your address or if you refused to pay the 20 cents, you can see the announcement here. She is worth every penny if you ask me.

Done Being Grouchy

My best friend Ryan recently brought to my attention that because of an earlier blog about being overwhelmed with visitors, I have permanently scared people away and people are afraid to call or visit. I want everyone to know that I love seeing people and introducing them to Samantha. I will admit those first few weeks were a little much...but it is amazing how a little sleep can help improve your attitude.

I have always been a big sleeper. I'm not really a morning person or a night owl, I just like to sleep all the time. I think I had a bed time until I was about 16 because I have always been so grouchy when I don't get enough sleep. Turns out, the same is true today and Samantha must know how much better life is for all of us when we get some sleep. She has been a really fantastic sleeper lately, Saturday she slept from 11 pm to 6 am - I think that counts for sleeping through the night! Now, it isn't quite that good every night but it is close and I am SO very grateful and feeling much more sane.

A good night sleep is worth so much to me and now that I'm rested, I'm ready to socialize - please don't be scared.

Busy August

Samantha met many important people this month as we had some special out of town visitors. My Grandma, Samantha's Great Grandma Gentry (G cubed), came for a wonderful week long visit from Oklahoma. I am fortunate enough to have known and been close to my Great Grandma and I am grateful that Samantha has her Great Grandma in her life as well. Dave's best friend Mike Hay was in town this week with his fiance Karessa. It was great to catch up and have some dinners with them.

Dave's Aunt Patty also came to meet the latest arrival along with cousins Kelly, Jaime, Jordan and Riley. Jordan is my favorite little guy and he proved that he is going to make a fabulous big brother soon. Samantha was especially excited to meet her Aunt Molly. We had some good bonding time with Molly and Brian and we all rocked out on the Wii with Rock Band.

Other fun visitors included Jessie Danielson, Ryan Smith and The Rosenbergs. You can catch up on all of the photos here, you will also see in the photos that Samantha is already a huge sports fan. She is a die hard Broncos fan and she has been cheering on Michael Phelps in the Olympics....soon you will also see her dedication to the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team.

New Definition of Productivity

As my good friend Josh would say, "I make things happen for a living". I like to get things done and see results. However, with a new baby, a productive day is now greatly different than what it used to be. That's okay too, I am now responsible for another living person - feeding her, changing her and making sure she is happy is my primary priority these days.

But, I am doing my best to accomplish more every day. This week I started showering while Samantha slept. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but for the past 6 weeks I have showered when someone else could keep an eye on Samantha. I also shopped for my friend Annie's 30th birthday, wrapped her gifts and sent them all with Samantha at my side. And, we made a trip to the grocery store, to Target and for some nice long walks, just the two of us. It's funny how the little things feel like big accomplishments!

I am trying to soak up all of my time with Samantha and she is frequently smiling at me this week to remind how priceless every day is. If I can't get a shower in or we can't get everything done in a day, that is alright too.

Naked Family Photos?

About a year ago my little sister showed me some pictures she had found of a teacher at her school who is also a friend of a friend of mine. My sister had found the picture on a professional photography site and it was a new family photo of this guy, his wife and their new baby. The only thing was, he wasn't wearing a shirt. We all got a good laugh about the photo wondering why in the world they would do the family portrait shirtless.

Fast forward to a week ago when our family friend and crazy photographer Cheryl came over to take pictures of Samantha and our family. After about 5 minutes she asked Dave to take his shirt off. Apparently these naked photos are now all the rage. I must say that Dave was quite a willing participant. When Cheryl asked me to take off my shirt a few minutes later I rolled my eyes and she quickly told me what a prude I was. Before you know it, there we all were, me, Dave and Samantha without our clothes on, posing for a family photo.

I did ask after awhile if we could get a decent amount of pictures taken with all of our clothes ON. I mean what in the world am I going to do with naked pictures? It makes it look like we all choose to disrobe on a Saturday afternoon and delight in our family unity...very Boulder. We got the pictures back a few days ago and while there are a lot of fantastic photos of Samantha, and some good (clothed) family shots, the naked photos are hysterical. I plan to lock them away but I will display a few for your enjoyment here!

Mamma Mia!

Yesterday Samantha went to her first movie. To escape the 100 degree weather, I went with my mom, sister and Samantha to see Mamma Mia. I was expecting an empty theatre during a Wednesday afternoon but it was actually quite crowded. As we entered the theatre I knew exactly what the looks from other movie goers were saying...they were unaware of what a cooperative baby we brought with us.

I have always loved musicals and this movie was no exception. It was a perfect mother/daughter movie and the music was great. Samantha slept through the whole movie - except for being awake when I fed her in the theatre (I told you I will breastfeed anywhere now!).

It's going to be another hot week so let me know if you have seen any good movies for our next outing!

Getting Into the Swing of Things

I apologize for the lack of news, it is not because things are uneventful around here. Samantha is almost four weeks old now which makes me sad because the past few weeks have gone so quickly. She is growing fast and weighed 8 lbs 6 ounces on Friday - even though the breastfeeding is still a bit painful for me, she is apparently getting what she needs which is good.

She has a really wonderful personality, people ask us often if we realize what a good baby she is. She truly seems content and she doesn't cry often, if she does it is usually because she is hungry. Samantha has fantastic expressions. It blows me away how she makes the same faces that Dave and I do, it is hysterical to see the perturbed look that Dave has coming from a tiny baby. I would even say she is a pretty darn good sleeper lately. She goes for about 3-5 hour stretches which really means one middle of the night feeding and some decent sleep for us all.

We have had a very, very steady stream of visitors. Everyone has been very supportive and loving, bringing dinners and gifts for the baby. It is also really nice when we have some uninterrupted alone time and feel like we are adjusting to our new life as a family.

It Only Took Two Weeks

You may remember I wrote a blog posting about breastfeeding here back in May. I received a lot of feedback, and many of you offered advice. Dave's sweet cousin Dana even sent me a very cool "Hooter Hider" to avoid being a typical Boulder mom.

I am writing now to admit that it only took two weeks for me to lose most of my modesty and do exactly what I was complaining about before having a baby. On Friday, our doctor's visit went long, we had to go down to the lab for a blood test and and the whole outing took much longer than expected. Samantha became fussy as we waited for her to get her foot pricked and I knew it was time to feed her.

Being a new mom, I was not prepared with my "Hooter Hider" or any real cover for that matter. But, what do I care right? I went into the corner of the waiting room and just started nursing right there. When we were called in for her blood work, there I was just walking right into the room while I nursed for everyone to see! I actually nursed her until the whole thing was over. Hey, these days, when you get her to latch correctly and the feeding is going well, there is no stopping her because you are embarrassed! Hopefully I did not scare any expectant mothers and I promise I will try to be more prepared as time goes by. Apparently most of those things you promise never to do as a mother get thrown out the window very quickly.

Perils of Breastfeeding

If breastfeeding did not offer so many benefits for a growing baby, I would have given up on it already. I learned that a minute or two of bad positioning can lead to some serious pain for days later. I took a 24 hour break and had a lactation specialist come over for a visit. Things are getting better every day but again, one feeding can be a big set back if you aren't paying proper attention and I think it will take me awhile to really master this. However, I am determined to do it.

Today marks the passing of the two week mark since Samantha was born which means that I can get out and about on my own. This is HUGE for me after the month of bed rest leading up to her birth and I am very anxious to get out of this house by myself. I am feeling better every day after the c-section and I think it will really help my mind and spirit to get some independence back. I have appreciated the help from everyone around me but I am ready to do some things on my own (with Samantha at my side of course!) and get into our own groove just the two of us.

Samantha continues to be the best baby ever and it's hard to believe, but she gets more beautiful every day - I'll put some new pictures up this weekend to prove it. Plus the past two nights she has let me have some decent sleep so she gets even more bonus points.

Home Sweet Home

Yes, we are finally home and getting settled with Samantha. We were so happy to get out of the hospital on Tuesday after a full week stay, we all even slept quite a bit that first night home. Yesterday we got the clean bill of health on the jaundice from the doctor so we don't have to worry about using the lights on the baby and we can just cuddle as much as we want to. Even Javier seems to be adjusting well.

I am feeling pretty good physically but I can definitely feel the pain after not much activity which is frustrating. I'm also feeling very emotional. Everyone talks about postpartum depression or having the baby blues...this is not what I feel. I would say that overall, the way to describe what I am feeling is "overwhelmed". Overwhelmed by how much I love Samantha, overwhelmed by how perfect she is and how blessed I feel, overwhelmed by how tired I am, about the phone calls we are receiving, about the visitors who come by, the physical pain I feel, getting started feeding with the baby and by how much life changed in the last week. Most of it is good, but it brings on some tears a few times a day. It has been so nice to have Dave home with me this week.

We have been taking pictures like crazy so I will make sure to post them in the next few days.

Samantha Lee Brantz

We are very happy to share the news of the arrival of our baby girl Samantha. Most of you now know that Samantha arrived on Thursday, July 3rd at 5:18 pm. She weighed in at 7 lbs 9 oz and was 20.5 inches long. It was quite an adventure bringing her into the world. I feel like the doctors (and I) did everything we possibly could to get the baby to come out without surgery but in the end she was not faced the right way and even though I pushed for hours we ended up with a c-section....and a baby with a cone head to show my efforts!

It was really difficult and the craziest thing I have ever been through but I would do it again today to have Samantha. She is so beautiful, I can't stop looking at her. My mom told me once that when you have a child it is like having your heart running around outside your body. I love her so much, I can't even explain it.

We are STILL at the hospital, pretty soon they will be naming this wing after us. We were ready to go home today but the baby is jaundice so she has to be under this lamp for the day and we will hopefully head home tomorrow after a full week here. I am getting up now pretty well and we are ready to get home and start our new life with Sammy. I'm including some pictures, as you can see, we are all very smitten by the baby. Thank you for all your emails and kind messages. It continues to be an adventure but worth every minute.

Bed Rest Rebel

I am cautiously optimistic that we are going to have a baby this week! My doctor promises me that she will not be changing her mind this time around. I'm not sure I completely believe her, but if all goes as planned, I will be checking into the hospital Tuesday evening.

After the whole back and forth last week I was feeling frustrated and decided to begin a new "modified" version of bed rest. All of my test results were looking so good, my feet were not swollen, in all honesty, I was questioning my doctor's decision to have me on bed rest this whole time at all. My new version of bed rest included a brief walk around the block each day and getting out of the house once a day or so. I can't tell you what a huge difference this small amount of movement made. My mood improved and I was feeling semi-normal for the first time in weeks.

By Sunday I noticed that my feet had gone back to being fairly swollen -- today they were worse and my blood pressure was up at my doctor's appointment. Also, the doctor called this evening to tell me that my protein levels shot up from last week, almost 200 points. Okay, so she was right. The way I figure it, we all win. I now know that the bed rest was not done for nothing, I got a boost in my mood before delivery and now it is officially time for the baby to make her debut.

So, let's try this again! Hopefully we will have good news to share on Wednesday!!

Sam's Room

I wanted to show a few pictures of the nursery now that it has come together. After three baby showers and many thoughtful gifts, we are all set! I do have to say that as soon as we received the first frilly dress for Samantha, I started to become very nervous that I would have a boy. My best friend Ryan says that I am going to have a boy as payback for the April Fools joke I played on everyone. With a dresser packed full of pink outfits and flowers on the wall, I sure hope it is a girl...I think I've had enough surprises lately! But either way we have a cozy place for Sam to lay her - (or his!) head.

We Will Survive!

It has been a rough week but I'm doing good. Sometimes I feel like the baby might just live inside me forever, in a few years I might even take her to elementary school still in the womb. I was upset with the run around the doctor gave me this week. I won't lie, there were some tears shed over the confusion, but I am more than willing to wait on anything that is best for the baby.

Dave's Uncle Kevin made a good comment about Sammy needing some more time alone...I like that. According to my mom, even when I was a baby I would cry to be put down and left alone. Many people blame it on me being an only child for so long but I think it is deep inside of me, I need quite a bit of "alone time" to get by. Maybe Sam knows all the crazy people who will want to hold her and bother her when she arrives and she needs some more time for herself too. I told you she is smart.

The Rollercoaster Continues

The only real way I can explain this is by telling you that my doctor is about 8 months pregnant and probably not thinking as clearly as usual. She called me this afternoon about an hour before I was supposed to go to the hospital to tell me she had decided she would like me to wait another week before being induced.

My doctor talked to the doctor who was on call tonight and she now feels strongly that it is too early for me to be induced. Of course I am all about what is best for the baby but it is very confusing when one day she is telling me how the baby is full term and will be in perfect shape and then the next day she is telling me that going into labor would put me and my baby at risk.

I told her that I was ready to have the baby or get off of bed rest! That is not really a possibility and we agreed that we would talk on Friday about setting the next induction date....who knows when this baby will arrive. Maybe this Thursday I will go to my bootcamp class and get things going on my own.

Let's Get This Party Started

Last night I felt like I was 10 years old and it was Christmas Eve, so much anticipation! My doctor let us know yesterday that I will be induced on Wednesday. We will check into the hospital tonight, they will apply some gels to "ripen" my cervix before bed and in the morning they will either break my water and/or give me pitocin to get labor going.

If all goes well we should have our baby on Wednesday! I am nervous and excited and scared and giddy all at once. I can't wait to meet this girl! Hopefully we will figure out a way to share the news sooner rather than later with all of you!

Secret Outing

This evening I escaped the house for a secret pedicure mission! Dave dropped me off at the nail salon to get my feet rubbed and my toenails painted. I felt like a rebel and was a little nervous I was going to bump into my doctor there but it was well worth it. I was so grateful just to be in the car going anywhere besides the hospital or a doctor's appointment!

In other news I went to the hospital today for my weekly NST (non-stress test). This is a test that monitors the baby's heart rate with one band and my contractions on another. They use this during labor too. The nurse said the baby looked perfect. I appreciate this test because it shows on the monitor what I feel all day...lots of crazy contractions. The nurse asked me how I sleep with those contractions and when I replied somewhat ashamed that often I take a half of a Benedryl to sleep, she responded with "Good idea, I would too!"

As I start my 37th week, we posted a new photo. You can't totally see but the baby has dropped which helps with the heartburn and my ability to breath!

Who Knew?

I know people have done this whole bed rest thing for months at a time. I am really, really trying to have a good attitude but I'm ready for this to be over now. After having friends in town over the weekend I feel as though I got a second wind and I've been wanting to go for a run...or at least a walk instead of sitting on the couch all day! At yesterday's doctor appointment I was no more dilated than last week. I was disappointed that these contractions that I have every few minutes are all for naught but she assured me this is a positive thing. It looks like we are in good shape to make it to full term, 37 weeks, which is one week away and then we are going to talk about inducing me.

But, who knew golf was so exciting? I thoroughly enjoyed watching the U.S. Open and even though I became very depressed that Rocco didn't win - I couldn't have asked for a better golf tournament. Plus, I like that Tiger has a daughter named Sam. Pretty cute. Next thing you know I'll take up watching car racing...please Samantha, don't wait too long.

Sorry, No Photos for You

Have I mentioned how well Dave is taking care of me these days? I want to preface this blog post by saying what a great guy Dave is. He is very smart, he's a great lawyer, he's funny, he is financially responsible. However, technologically savvy he is not...

When our friends began to text message, Dave was very unhappy. He did not understand how to text or how to check his text messages and what made him even more mad was that he got charged money for those messages that he never saw. I tried to teach him, but he still has not caught on. The same happened with instant messaging. I finally got him to download a program to his computer a few years ago and when I wrote to him he replied anxiously "DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM TYPING RIGHT NOW?"

The list goes on and on, he just has no interest in technology. He doesn't want to learn how to join the Facebook/MySpace revolution and he is downright nervous that I have this blog at all. He is sort of like a grandfather trapped in a 30 year old body, nervous of these new fads that the young folks are trying. I'm telling you this as we prepare for Samantha to come because until I am able to get on a computer, there will be no blog posting announcing her arrival, no pictures to show you what she looks like and no stories about how it all happened. He might be ready for a new daughter but he is not ready for the technology to share the news!

Notes from the Couch

I've officially made it through one full week of bed rest. I've had a few meltdowns because I just want to get up and go outside, but all and all I am doing just fine. I will say that being able to work has been really helpful - the company I work for, Return Path, is always incredibly flexible and full of caring people. They have been very understanding and the weekdays are much better than the weekends for me because at least I'm accomplishing something and participating in calls while I sit here.

I have been having a lot of contractions, yesterday it was about one every 10-15 minutes. When I went to the doctor this week she said I was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated so really it could be any day now. I'm hoping she waits until next week - we have a lot of visitors coming to town this weekend for a baby shower! But, I figure she is teaching us early on that we don't get to make our own plans anymore.

Bed Rest Can Be Fun Right?

I realized a few days ago that this blog had started to get a little depressing. Come on now, we have a baby coming soon, that is reason enough to celebrate! I am a firm believer that laughing at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in can sometimes really help you through rough times. So today as I was getting wheeled in a wheelchair to an ultrasound at the hospital I thought how hilarious it was that one week I am doing my crazy boot camp class and running around and the next I am in a wheelchair getting ready to have a baby.

So, I have signs of preeclampsia which means I am swelling in my feet, hands (and recently my face!) and, I'm leaking protein from my kidneys. The only real cure for preeclampsia is delivery of the baby and since we are not quite ready for that yet, I have to be on strict bed rest for the next few weeks. The good news is that they predict from the ultrasound today that the baby is just over 5 lbs so if we can bake her a little longer, she will be in excellent shape.

There are certainly lessons to be learned here. I don't like to ask people for help but I can work on that during this time. I don't like to sit still for too long but I can now rest up for the baby. I can catch up on books I have wanted to read and finalize work I still need to transition. And, we can all see what happens when I let go of my obsession with laundry and give up my duties to Dave. Who would have thought that bed rest means NO laundry!?? Wish me luck...this should be fun!

Just Not My Week

It has been pretty much smooth sailing with this pregnancy until this past week. I have felt increasingly uncomfortable, my heartburn has been terrible and today I went in for my regular weekly check up and ended up back in the hospital again. This time I had a fever and the baby's heart rate was really fast (180) along with my usual contractions and swollen feet. I went over to the hospital in tears and got hooked up to all the monitors again.

Luckily my mom came to keep me company and the baby settled down pretty quickly once I rested in the hospital. I'm still having contractions and am low on iron but the good news is there is no infection and if I continue to take it easy and stay hydrated I should be fine. I have a follow up appointment on Thursday - I'm just praying it doesn't end up like my last two.

I do know how to read all the machines now and as Dave says, at least I'll be a pro once I actually do go into labor.

Old Man Brantz

Today my wonderful husband is 30. He gave me a really hard time when I turned 30 so I have been calling him Old Man Brantz - I think he likes it.

I am very lucky to be married to Dave. He always makes me laugh, he takes good care of me, he has been a true friend to me since I was 15 years old, and as all of you know, he is very good looking! I know he is going to be a fantastic dad - Samantha and I are both extremely fortunate.

Happy 30th Birthday Dave! I love you, even though you are stealing my fiesta this year!

Not Yet Sammy

After a big weekend, we had a little bit of a scare yesterday. First let's talk about the fun weekend. We had all sorts of wonderful visitors this weekend. My best friend Ryan and her daughter came in along with my Aunt Gina, cousin Margrethe and Grandma for my baby shower. Also, Dave's best friend Mike Hay was also in town for Memorial Day.

We were so busy with the Boulder Creek festival, visits to Pearl Street, BBQs, a fantastic baby shower and the Boulder Bolder race. We were on the go all weekend long. It was very special to have my favorite people in town. On Memorial Day during the Bolder Boulder, my mom kept pointing out that my stomach kept tightening. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the afternoon about every 15 minutes. Another new thing was that my feet exploded. They have been slightly swollen for a month or so but this was different.

Tuesday morning I went to an event for my company in Denver and I called my doctor's office while I was there and left a message saying that I felt fine but I was having some contractions and my feet were enormous. By the time I left Denver they had called saying that I should come in for a quick check in. I went in, they were pretty concerned about the contractions and sent me to Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I had a quick meltdown on my way over there. I had just been there in my childbirth tour but I wasn't ready for this.

Long story short, I got my own delivery room, got hooked up to the monitors, got blood work done and rested there for a few hours. I was indeed having early contractions which they didn't like and that's why they kept me for so long. But the baby's heart rate was steady and she was active (as always!). They finally let me go with strict orders to stay off my feet, rest and slow way down. Although Samantha has an extensive wardrobe after the baby shower this weekend, we are not ready to have her here yet so I'm finally going to start taking it easy.

The Gig is Up

By now you have probably got me figured out. I say that I am not a typical Boulderite but then I attend classes like "Your Dog and Your Baby" and Prenatal Yoga. In fact, I loved Angie's mishap about a Yoga Dog and Yoga Baby class, this way I could incorporate the new baby, Javier the pug and yoga!

Another very Boulder thing I have done through my pregnancy is work out. Before getting pregnant I went twice a week to a boot camp class at the gym called Fit Quest. This class really got me into shape. There is a lot of running, sprinting, relays, weight lifting and overall torture techniques used in the class but I love it. I have continued doing this class twice a week through my pregnancy although I just went down to once a week after my doctor told me that running is no longer a good idea with the pelvic pain I am having.

In addition to yoga and boot camp, this week I added a prenatal swim class to my schedule. It was a little harder than I was expecting, it definitely got my heart rate up which was great. I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to be so light in the water! The exercises were tough but also very gentle on my muscles. The only bad part of the class was stepping out of the pool and back into reality of how heavy I am feeling these days. This class is a keeper.

Oh - if you are in town this weekend I bet you can spot me browsing art and having my tarot cards read at the Boulder Creek Festival. I admit it, I am Boulder all the way but I plan to break Boulder tradition when I get my epidural!

Your Dog and Your Baby

Javier is our very adorable, very spoiled pug. We got Javier right after we got married and for almost four years I have been telling people that getting Javier was the best thing I ever did (after getting married of course!). I try to keep my obsession with Javier under wraps but I adore him. The only problem is that Javi knows this. Since he was a puppy, he follows me around the house, he sleeps cuddled right up to me and he sits right next to me during all meals because he knows I am a sucker for him and will share.

This weekend I attend a two hour class at the hospital, "Your Dog and Your Baby". I thought this would be the perfect class to teach me how to make the transition of having a baby in the house for Javier. The class wasn't so great, it was geared towards bigger, more aggressive dogs and how to manage them with kids. The one useful tip I got was that if there are behaviors we want to change, we should start now, before the baby arrives. That way, when I stop sharing my dinner with the pug, he won't associate this "new" set-up with the "new" baby. So, I'm trying not to share food with Javi which is painful for me and him. Hopefully I can stick to it.

I have also promised Dave that I will be much better about disciplining our child than I have been with our dog.

Comments NOT to Make to a Pregnant Woman

Guess what? I have a mirror at home and I can see how big I am getting. In fact, I bet most pregnant women also have a mirror at home and are monitoring their growth. Luckily I have gotten used to the fact that people say whatever comes to mind when they see me. I don't take it personally anymore and I'm really starting to find the amusement in the comments I get. I have noted some of the most memorable comments I have heard in the past few weeks.
  1. Are you SURE you are not having twins? I mean, how many ultrasounds have you really had? Is the doctor positive there isn't another baby hiding in there?
  2. How big is your husband? He must be a huge guy. No, really how tall is he?
  3. TWO MORE MONTHS left?!! You look like you are due any minute!
  4. This must be hard on you since you can't have fun at all if you are pregnant.
  5. How do you get up now? Do you need help getting out of bed in the morning?
Please try to avoid these with other pregnant women who are not at a forgiving phase of their pregnancy.

Breast Feeding Anxiety

I had one of my first psycho pregnancy moments at around 8 weeks when I told my husband that I wanted to take a breast feeding class. His response was "Even animals breast feed Carly, it can't be hard. It is totally natural, why in the world would you need to take a class?". We don't need to get into the details but I can assure you it wasn't a fun rest of the evening for Dave.

I have heard more horror stories about breast feeding than labor. Aside from getting it to work, how long to feed, how to have the baby latch, being in pain, etc., I just don't know where I feel it is appropriate to feed your baby.

I have mentioned before how many females we have in my family. I don't think I noted that they are all very opinionated females. At one family event when I was a kid, a male relative made some comment about how if someone in the family was breastfeeding, they should go into one of the back bedrooms alone. Everyone has been talking about what a jerk he is for the last 20 years. I was raised to believe that women get to decide what happens with their babies and their bodies.

But...I do live in Boulder and people are always pushing the limit and making me uncomfortable. In my last yoga class, a woman brought her baby. The baby slept most of the time but woke up and was fussy in the last half of class. I was in my deep meditative state as we did some breathing exercises on the exercise ball when I opened my eyes slightly to see that the woman had taken her shirt off and was sitting on the ball bouncing and breast feeding. You must be kidding me right?! And, last week when Dave and I went to interview a pediatrician, there was a woman baring all - and I do mean all, in the lobby. The baby was clearly not interested in eating and she was trying to coax the baby into eating for all to see! When she was called in for the appointment, she gave the baby to her husband and even stood up and started walking into her appointment before covering herself up -- excuse me!

I need all women to help me out for the next few months. I'm not asking you to hide out in a back bedroom, but for the love of God, cover yourself up a little bit!

My Mom = My Best Friend

I hope you all had a very special Mother's Day. It was a gorgeous day in Boulder and we had both of our families and some close family friends over for a BBQ. It is exciting to think that next year I will officially be a mom too. I did magically get a few cards from Samantha with some help from Dave and Aunt Patty so I know she is looking forward to it too.

I figure it is the right time of year to write a little something about my mom Ava. When I was a bratty teenager my mom used to say to me "You might not know it yet, but I am your best friend." Over the years, I have realized how true that is. I'm lucky to live close to her and we have lunch once a week and I talk to her at least once a day...about everything.

My mom never holds back what she is thinking so for about 4 years I have been hearing about how she needs a grandchild. She definitely wins the prize for most excited about the baby. While I am happy about having a baby, I also get scared, nervous and panicked - my mom is only ecstatic, all the time. And, as with other experiences in my life, she has made me feel supported, loved, and optimistic about my pregnancy at every step. Somehow she has also avoided making me mad (which is very impressive) and has listened to me complain about everyone who has upset me during my moody phases. My mom "gets me" like nobody else.

After the baby is born, my mom will watch Samantha when I go back to work so I know they will have a special relationship too. And, even if it takes Samantha a while to realize it, I hope that eventually I'll be her best friend too.

Birthing Class

Last night we attended our first birthing class. This class will meet every Wednesday in the month of May for three hours a class. I was really excited for this class to start so that we could meet some other pregnant couples and to learn more about the whole labor and delivery process.

First, let me discuss the demographics of the class. Dave was concerned we would be in a new age, hippie class and have to hug the other couples and talk about our feelings. This was not yoga but remember we are still in Boulder. The majority of the couples were quite a bit older than us and about a third of the class has a midwife rather than a doctor.

That being said, our teacher is new to Boulder from Washington D.C. and she mainly stuck to her posters and powerpoint presentation for the first half of the class. She sufficiently scared me with her life size pictures of the womb and her real pelvic bone prop complete with a baby doll banging into the bones to show the causes of back labor. How do women do this again? I think I asked about 80% of the questions during class.

We did some nice breathing exercises for the early stages of labor and ended the class with the lights off, listening to music and doing a total body relaxation practice. A little new agey maybe, but trying to breath and relax while bringing a child into the world can't be too bad a thing right?

Prep Day

Saturday was a great prep day for the baby. First, my in laws and Dave painted the nursery green. They did a wonderful job and the color turned out great. While they painted, I went to lunch with April, a friend from book club, who brought her 8 week baby girl Audrey. It was fun to hear all about April's experiences so far and Audrey was absolutely adorable, I think I could have stared at her for the entire day.

For dinner, we met up with some friends Dave knows from law school who are also expecting their first baby soon. You know how I keep asking "how am I possibly going to get bigger than I already am?" Well, Julia who is due any day now answered that question. Now I have a pretty good idea of what I will look like in two months. It was fun to meet a couple going through the same things as us.

We finished up the evening by painting 3 big pink circles above the crib. I have wanted to do this in the nursery for a long time but wasn't sure we could pull it off. Dave did the circles perfectly and we hung a letter in each circle so that it reads SAM. It looks exactly the way I was hoping - I love it.

Seriously People, This is Getting Crazy


I am a little concerned about how big I am getting. I had convinced myself that my size had plateued and I was not getting bigger. However, as you can see by the picture here, I continue to get more enormous. Actually on Sunday night I swear there was a huge growth spurt over night.

I would say I have had a very easy pregnancy so far but I am beginning to feel uncomfortable. Some of the third trimester symptoms I am experiencing now are: swelling in my hands and feet, heartburn, shortness of breath, ligament pain, I have to pee all the time and those little kicks from the baby are getting strong now!

The thing that freaks me out the most is that I have ten more weeks to go! How much bigger can I possibly get?

Madeline Gene

My "little" sister Madeline (who is much bigger than me) is 15 years younger than me. My mom thought it would be great birth control to involve me as a teenager in the entire process of her pregnancy. So I was there at just about every step of the way, at the amniocentesis, the ultrasounds and finally the birth.

However, I wouldn't say that the experience scared me into never wanting to have children. It was quite the opposite. While my mom was pregnant, I thought it was absolutely fascinating how the baby developed and I decided I was either going to be an OBGYN and deliver babies or I would be a surrogate mother for all the people who could not have children. Luckily I came to my senses!

After Madeline's delivery all of my high school friends were absolutely disgusted that I had seen my sister being born but I thought it was amazing. Besides throwing up after my mom's water broke, the entire experience was beautiful. In fact, I like to tell Madeline how I was the first person to welcome her into the world. Unlike my dad, I was in the catcher's position when she arrived!

I keep trying to remember this experience and not the many horror stories about labor that I have heard over the years. I like to think I am pretty tough but I have never been in the hospital, never had an IV or been hooked up to a machine. To be honest, I have never experienced extreme pain in my life. Like I said in an earlier post, I do not like surprises and I wish I had a better idea of how it is all going to happen. What I know for sure is how excited I am to meet our baby and as scared as I am, I am positive it will all be worth it. And, if you have a particularly pleasant birth story, please feel free to pass it along!

Boulder Open Enrollment

Last night Dave and I went with his Dad to see a documentary about Columbine Elementary school. No, this is not the Columbine school of the shootings, this is our neighborhood elementary school down the street from our house where Dave attended school as a kid.

In the early 1990's, a law was passed giving parents the right to open enroll their children in the school of their choice. This means that rather than attending your neighborhood school, you apply to the school of your choice. In Boulder, this has caused a strange phenomenon. In a town where the population is primarily upper class and about 95% white, Columbine Elementary is now 80% Hispanic and about the same percentage qualify for government assistance/lunch aid. I can't remember the exact number they gave but I think they said that about 90% of white children in the neighborhood open enroll to other schools.

I'm not going to get into the debate here about whether or not we should send our child to Columbine Elementary. There is a lot to think about, I am still undecided and have at least 5 years to think it over. But, I do think that having an open enrollment system in a town like Boulder causes serious problems. This is what is to blame for the segregation in the schools. Rather than having parents involved and dedicated to the well being of their neighborhood schools, parents now just switch them to the next school over with higher test scores. In a small, homogeneous town like Boulder there just is not a huge difference in the quality of a school, until you begin to open enroll students and create schools with segregation and huge disparities in wealth.

They are in talks now to spend 8 million dollars for a remodel of Columbine. This is not going to solve the deeper issues here. I am going to hope and pray that the open enrollment system is gone by the time Samantha goes to elementary school. It has made me begin to think about bringing up a child and how to teach by example while still keeping your child's best interests at heart. But for now, I think I'll go back to worrying about my birthing classes before I stress about kindergarten.

Rude People

This week I am in New York City for my last work trip until after the baby arrives. I figure this is a sort of "Carlymoon" and a great time to enjoy the city - the weather is absolutely beautiful here this week. I have had way too much fun coming to NYC over the past few years and going out with coworkers, I can't help wonder when I'll be back again. Work trips will most likely be a little more complicated once Samantha is here.

My rant for today doesn't have much to do with pregnancy but rather traveling. During the past three years I would say I have made roughly one trip per month for work. I don't mind traveling for work, like I said, I have especially enjoyed my trips to NYC over the years. I am a big fan of Frontier and almost always fly with them. Traveling while pregnant is not so bad either, I am feeling pretty good these days and I still go to the gym so schlepping my bags is not difficult.

But, I was reminded yesterday how much I despise rude people. When I got to my terminal, I was looking for a seat and I spotted one across from a woman sitting on the end. As I tried to get to it, she pushed her suitcase down in the aisle in front of me so I couldn't get through. I had to pick up my luggage and try to step over her suitcase to get to a seat. Of course this same woman happened to be sitting in the seat next to me for my flight. She demanded her drink before the flight attendant had gotten to us and then snapped at the woman because there was no meal on the flight.

I recently read that scientists have found that during the act of receiving something in kindness there is an increase of serotonin in the brain. The same goes for the person who is performing the act of kindness, it is truly a natural anti-depressant. I know, this is really my Boulder side showing, but come on, it really does help you and others around you to be a better and more kind person - so be nice! And, next time, help a pregnant lady get her bag down the aisle!

Baby Yoga

I figure it is some sort of requirement that if you are pregnant in Boulder you must take a prenatal yoga class. Other mandates of living in Boulder require that once you have kids, they all must wear Crocs, travel in fancy jogging strollers to Moe's Bagel every weekend and breastfeed until they are about 4.

I love Boulder but I am not really a typical Boulderite and I admit to making fun of all the hippies, liberals and vegetarians in this town. However, I did give in to the prenatal yoga class and am taking a weekly class until the end of the month. At first I was pretty bored, and I have to try hard not to giggle as we put a hand on our bellies and send gratitude to our womb, but I have to admit all this stretching and meditating does help relax me. As I start my third and final trimester I am feeling really happy, excited and at peace with the pregnancy.

Maybe I will do a really Boulder thing and sign up for a Mom and Baby yoga after Samantha arrives. Namaste...

The Nursery Comes to Life


Most of you know that I am a planner. I always tease Dave about his Excel spreadsheets and budgets but the truth is, I have also become a fan of having things in order. That's why it has been a little strange that I just wasn't in a rush to get a nursery ready. Last month, even my doctor told us it was time to start looking at cribs and ordering items that take awhile to ship.

We made our first trip to Babies R Us a few weeks ago and were overwhelmed by the crowds and the large selection of cribs, changing tables, chairs, dressers, etc. - we probably should NOT have gone on a Saturday afternoon. I will also admit that I was upset by how tall the cribs were! There were only a few that I could reach into comfortably and I was unhappy with Dave's suggestion that we build a step stool for me to get our baby out of the crib.

We finally chose a *shorter* crib and changing table online from Target and Dave did a fantastic job assembling it all this weekend. I am very happy with our selections. We still need to paint the room and get all the decorations and bedding but it looks like a baby's room in there now! I do a lot of stopping and staring every time I pass the room. It is definitely starting to feel real...

The Big 3-0


Today I am 30. This morning my Grandma sent me the picture posted here of me on my 8th birthday. What do you think of the side ponytail?

For the past six years, we have had an annual fiesta to celebrate my birthday. This consists of pinata hitting, a tequila tasting and overall good times. But, of course the year that my birthday falls on a Friday and I would have had the best fiesta ever, I am pregnant and have to take it easy. But that's okay - it will be easy to remember the year Samantha is born because it is an 8, like the year I was born and we are moving the fiesta to Dave's 30th birthday this year.

The main thing I keep thinking about as I begin the next decade of my life is how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. I have known many of my closest friends, including Dave, since I was a teenager. I have a picture that my Grandma took on my 15th birthday before school (I got to have a sleepover on a school night) and in the picture with me are Ryan, Beth and Autumn, three of my very best girlfriends to this day.

I hope Samantha is fortunate enough to find long lasting friendships. I know she will have our friends looking out for her throughout her entire life. And because I can't, if each of you could take a shot of tequila for me on my 30th birthday, I would appreciate it. If you've never tried Cafe Patron, I highly recommend it.

A Family Affair

I have a confession to make. The day I found out I was pregnant, it was a Friday and I had just returned from a work trip in NYC and was at home. When I saw the positive test, Dave wasn't the first person I called. It was my Mom. Then, I tried to call Dave and tell him but he told me he was too busy at work to talk...so he wasn't the even the second person I told, that was my Dad.

The point is, I am very close to my family, and to Dave's family too. When I had my bachelorette party in South Beach 4 years ago, my mom and my mother in law were two of the 15 females that were in attendance. I know what you are thinking: boundaries right? This is probably true but for the most part, I think I do a pretty good job at setting some boundaries and I still like to have my family and Dave's family very involved in our lives.

For my 12 week ultrasound I invited Judy, my mother in law, to the appointment with me and Dave. It was really special to have her there and she had never seen an ultrasound before. For my 20 week ultrasound Dave thought that my sister should come with us. I had been to the ultrasound to see her before she was born and Dave thought it would be cool for her to come to see one as well. Well, the invitation to her turned into an invitation to my whole family and before I knew it, Dave, my Mom, Dad and sister were meeting me for the appointment. It was hilarious - I was a little late and I literally had a welcoming section when I arrived to the hospital. The five of us crowded into the room and although I'm sure we drove the technician crazy, I loved having everyone there.

Which brings me to my final point, and the latest topic I have been getting head shakes and dissenting opinions about. The headcount invited into the delivery room with us is holding strong at 4. Me, Dave, my Mom and Judy. People think this is crazy but I think it will be pretty amazing to have them all with me for the birth. After all, it should be good karma for me. This way Samantha will involve me too someday right?

Babymoon

We leave tomorrow for our last destination in our 2008 wedding tour. This is our third wedding in three months. Dave's cousin Mike is getting married in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. This is also our last trip to the beach for awhile and our last vacation before we have a baby. All the baby books recommend that couples take one final trip before the baby arrives, a babymoon, to enjoy being alone - without baby gear and without worrying about a baby. I guess this is our last hurrah!

Happy Birthday to Audrey, Sarah and Esther while I am gone. I'll be thinking of you all from the beaches of Mexico.

Also, I added a few new pictures to the slide show - enjoy!

APRIL FOOLS!!

I know, I am very mean. I did not get an ultrasound yesterday and as far as I know, Samantha is a girl. I am sorry to those of you I tricked, but I have to admit I was giggling all day- actually it was more like I was rolling on the floor laughing. I also found out who my loyal blog readers are - it was clear who checks the blog regularly! I appreciate those who were truly concerned with how I was handling the news. My friend Annie even volunteered to help me update my registry and I got some encouraging words from Audrey about how fun boys can be.

I'm going to have to think of something good for next year!

OH BOY!!!

I went to the doctor for an ultrasound today and the doctor told me that Samantha is a BOY! I think I am still in shock. My stomach has been upsetting me and my doctor wanted to make sure everything was looking alright so we did the ultrasound, the baby looks fine....just has definite boy parts now! I guess Sam is Samuel again.

Long Femurs?

My mom's big joke is that when she was pregnant with me I never kicked. She wanted to see the doctor because she was so nervous that I didn't have legs at all. Then after I was born, everyone liked to say that with my little legs, she wasn't too far off with her prediction.

If this theory holds true, I am pretty sure I'm going to have a tall child. With the kicks I am getting, I am guessing that her legs are long like her Aunt Molly (Dave's sister). Have you ever seen Molly's femurs? Her femurs alone are the length of most people's entire legs. With the range and strength of the kicks inside of me, I think the femurs are to blame.

Samantha Lee - What's in a Name?

Remember, Dave was under the false assumption that we would have a son. Dave's original name idea for a son was "Sickie Sickie Pow Pow". This would ensure our son would be a pro snowboarder obsessed with how much snow was in the mountains. I was pushing for something more practical like "John Elway Brantz". Finally, we found something we could agree on and when we talked about our imaginary child that we would have someday, we decided a few years back that "his" name would be Sam. My great grandpa was Sam and although I only met him once when I was a baby, I was very close to my great grandma (GG) and I knew she would appreciate it.

When I was a kid I wished so badly that my name was Samantha. I'll admit that this was primarily because I loved the show Who's the Boss and thought that Alyssa Milano, who played Sam on the show, was fabulous. But, my favorite baby doll was named Samantha and I can remember wanting to change my name.

I was worried the name Samantha was too popular but the more we thought about it, Sam just seemed right no matter if it was a boy or a girl. We also wanted to pay proper respect to Dave's side of the family and Lee is Dave's mother's maiden name. I have heard such wonderful and fun stories about Dave's grandpa Si Lee, I thought this would be a great way to carry on his name in Samantha's middle name.

Lee just happens to be the middle name of my favorite Aunt Gina too. Aunt Gina was 15 when I was born and in my mind, has always been at the forefront of all things hip and cool. Because of Aunt Gina, I love old Alfred Hitchcock movies, Patsy Cline, the Beatles and complicated novels. I will also always think Jon Bon Jovi is sexy. I plan to teach Sammy these very important lessons.

Girl #19

I tried to warn Dave but he didn't believe me. In my family, we don't have boys. In fact, on my mom's side of the family, we have not had a male born since my Papa who turned 72 in January. I know, I know, it is the male that determines the sex of the baby. My Papa says he has a bunch of girls in his family that pick guys that can't create boys.

Samantha will be the 19th consecutive girl. That's right, my Papa had an older brother and each of them only had girls. So, my mom has two sisters, who have had daughters and those daughters (my cousins) have continued having girl only families. My cousin Jeanine is due about two weeks before me and she found out at her ultrasound that she will be having another girl as well.

I used to tease my cousins growing up and tell them that I was going to be the only one to have a boy. Actually, I think I had the whole family convinced. But, by the time I did get pregnant I really only wanted a girl. I mean, after that many girls, who even knows what to do with a boy? And who wants to be the one to mess up the girls streak for the family?

I am so excited for #19. And, I'm taking bets for how long our family can keep this going.

WOW - You Are Huge!



Have you ever heard that if you want something badly enough you will eventually get it? I'm starting to believe it. At the beginning of my pregnancy I really, really wanted to show. At about 8 weeks I had Dave convinced that my stomach was really expanding and everyone could probably tell I was pregnant. Looking back on those pictures is pretty funny now.

Somewhere between 18 and 20 weeks something crazy happened and my belly got big. Strangers started stopping me to ask when I was due, people started grabbing for my belly and I even had someone in the store tell me that I should get ready to have one big baby! He also shared that if I wasn't due until July, I must be having a huge baby boy! Let's face it, I'm a little person. There isn't much room for this baby to go. I think that is why she has miraculously started to expand through my thighs, arms, my backside and even in my face. She is very crafty.

As a woman, you never want to gain weight. It is taking some getting used to people commenting on how large I am. As Mike Hay told me, I am looking big and fat now. When I run into people the first thing they say is "You are SO big!" and my mom tells me that pretty soon I will randomly start toppling over.

My doctor says I'm totally fine, I'm still working out and I haven't gained an excessive amount of weight so I am trying to go with the flow. But, I'll admit I'm just as curious as the next guy about how....or where the next four months are going to go!

The Songs We Sing

Shortly after I got pregnant I found myself downloading some country songs onto my iPod. All of my childhood favorites that my parents would listen to like George Strait, Randy Travis and Patsy Cline. Then, I was downloading the Carpenters and singing "Top of the World" to the baby every day on my way to work.

Now, I didn't think much of it until one Saturday morning I found Dave brushing up on his "Stewball was a Racehorse" lyrics and singing Peter, Paul and Mary songs around the house all day. When Dave and Molly were little, their dad had a special song for each of them. Stewball was what Jim would sing to Dave.

I guess that in preparing for parenthood we are doing what our parents did for us. I have also realized that with the Carpenters and Peter, Paul and Mary we are definitely children from the 70's. Don't worry, I also sing Stevie Wonder, Justin Timberlake, Shakira, Usher and Madonna to the baby so she will have well rounded musical taste.

Proceed with Caution

If I had to sum up my pregnancy thus far in one word it would most definitely be moody.

The first few months I cried a lot. I have always hated crying and I could not understand why I was crying all the time when I genuinely was excited to be pregnant. I was so happy to have a baby and yet the tears kept flowing. Then came the grouchy phase. One minute I would be happy and going about my day and the next minute I would be more angry than ever about something very random. Sometimes I would know as it was happening that it was crazy but other times it seemed completely justified to be screaming at people.

I talk with my friend Audrey at the gym, who is also pregnant, about the mood swings (thank goodness I'm not alone) and we say how sorry we feel for our husbands. They never know who are they are going to get when they see us next. But the truth of the matter is that although Dave has had to deal with the brunt of my irrational behavior, he isn't the only one. Others that I love who have had to deal with my grouchiness include: my grandma (who is mean to their poor grandma?), my mother in law, Josh, my coworkers, Sara, my parents, the list goes on and on.

For a few weeks there I wanted to include some sort of disclaimer in my emails that said: Warning - I am pregnant, grouchy and irrational, if this email has upset you I apologize. One day when I was actually feeling pretty good, I got flipped off by three people on the way to the mall. I guess that even my driving is angry and upsetting other people.

As I said in another post, I have been feeling very stable, happy and calm for about the past three weeks, we will see if it lasts. That being said, according to my mother, the post about not caring what anyone thinks was really rude and mean. I didn't mean for it to be! So please proceed with caution and try not to take my mood swings too seriously. I truly am sorry if I upset you. Let's all hope that the brighter days are here to stay.