Feedback is a Gift?

Anita, who is the VP of Sales and Marketing at Return Path where I work, has been telling me for ages that feedback is a gift. We have a very thorough 360 review process every year at Return Path and while I believe it has helped me develop both personally and professionally, I absolutely hate it. I promise myself every year (and fail to keep the promise) that I will not cry when I read through my review.

It is natural to focus on the comments that are negative or areas where I need to improve while skipping right past the complimentary comments. And, I don't know why I am surprised by this each year, but the things that come up that I need to work on are things that I am working on in my personal life as well. Examples of this are: over committing, not being assertive enough, being too sensitive, trying to please everyone and avoiding conflict. My CEO once told me that you aren't a different person when you walk into the office, and boy is that true for me.

This year was the first of 5 that I did just fine going through the review process. Primarily, I think that motherhood has made me much more humble, realistic and calm. I've said it a million times, but the main lesson I've had after having Samantha is not to be so hard on everyone, and that means on myself too. So, of course I have got some things that I can improve upon, everyone does. I'm not perfect and can even begin to see the gift in receiving feedback. After all, I'm a work in progress, at home and in the office.

Summer Lovin

Without my Grandma or Kevin Passer commenting on the blog these days, I have to admit it has gotten a bit boring for me. And I gave up on Brian (who was commenting on behalf of Molly) about a year ago. Is anyone out there?

As I said before, we have had a busy summer, we just got back from Kansas City and our 6th wedding this summer. One more to go, but the last one is just outside of Boulder. We had a great time in Kansas City, we stayed at Dave's grandparents' house and Dave's Aunt Patty and her friend Beth came from Omaha to babysit. I had so much fun staying up and chatting with Patty and Beth the first night, I was considering skipping the wedding to hang out with them again but the wedding was a blast and Samantha did great.

This summer, Samantha has been having a fabulous time every Wednesday spending her days with Grammy. My mother-in-law has been watching her on Wednesdays since she has the summer off of school. They have been going for walks, hanging out at the pool and having fun. It has also been great for me because I work from home and don't have to drive anywhere!

The summer is flying by, we are doing great and Samantha is into everything. She has just started standing up on her own in the middle of the room - no hands Ma! I have a feeling that walking is just around the corner. And...finally she says Mama, mostly when she is upset but I'll take what I can get. Some summer photos can be seen here.

One Year Stats

We went in for Samantha's one year check up and she continues to look great....but where did she get that giant head? Every time I think about it I start hearing these quotes from the movie "So I Married an Axe Murderer". If you haven't seen the movie it is hilarious, here is a little piece of it:

Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Tony Giardino: Shhh!
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
Tony Giardino: Shh!
Stuart Mackenzie: Has it's own weather system.
Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: HEAD! MOVE!

Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

You can see the You Tube clip here.

Ha! But, all kidding aside, here are Samantha's latest stats:

Height: 28 3/4 inches - 35%
Weight: 20 pounds 14.5 ounces - 45%
Head Circ: 18 3/4 inches - 97%

A Letter from Dad

We all know that Dave is a bit scared of this blog and sharing too much information. However, he has given me permission to share this with you. There are two pages in Samantha's baby book that say "A Letter from Mom" and "A Letter from Dad". Somehow in the excitement of preparing for her arrival last year we never did get around to writing our letters to her. But Dave completed his letter on her first birthday.

July 3, 2009

Dear Samantha:

I’m writing to you about the power of free will.

I meant to write this letter to you on November 3, 2008 when you turned 4 months old. That was the day that I saw you make your first choice. We were sitting on the couch and you were playing with a small cardboard box. It was one of those alphabet stacking boxes that came in a set (you loved to play with those boxes when you were a baby). Anyway, you were playing with the box, turning it over in your hands and looking at it intently. Then you saw that I also had a box in my hand; one from the same set, only mine was slightly bigger. You looked at my box, looked back to your box, and then raised yours up to me offering a trade. We made the trade and then you went about smiling and playing with your newly acquired (and bigger) box.

That was a small choice, but it was the first choice I had ever seen you make and I was very proud of you. You were starting to become your own little person right there in front of me. That also happened to be the day before the 2008 election when millions of Americans would choose Barack Obama to become the first black man to be President of the United States.

Life is full of choices Samantha. Some choices will be easy or trivial, while others will be hard and life‑altering. Just remember, in each case, the choices you make will define who you are as a person and affect those around you. Also, remember that you don’t have to make the right choice every time. Some of your choices will inevitably end up being wrong decisions, but that is okay – you’ll learn from your mistakes.

I realized I had to write this letter when you turned 1 year old and I hadn’t started writing it yet. Time flies by Samantha, and you have to make the most of it. Life is too precious – you can’t always linger trying to find the most rational answer. Instead sometimes you have to make ecstatic, spontaneous, and boisterous choices (the way Zorba would).

I am so excited to see what choices you’ll make and what kind of person you will become in the years ahead.

I love you,
DAD

Our Other Baby

My grandma is in town and helped scan some pictures for me, so I wanted to share another funny one. This is Dave and I with our first baby.
Okay, really it is Dave and I with my little sister Madeline, circa 1994. I know what you are thinking -- once this gets out, people all over will be rushing to their hair dressers asking them for the "Carly hair do". I promise that, when I was 16, it was cool when I scrunched my hair to pretend that it was curly.

No, Dave and I were not dating but we were very good friends and he came along when Madeline and I were getting our picture taken. After a few shots, Madeline insisted that Dave be in the picture, and who is really going to say no to a two year old?

We had this out during Samantha's birthday party and it caused quite a bit of confusion.

One Year Resemblences

I had an idea to dig up photographs of both me and Dave on our first birthday for an age appropriate comparison to what Samantha looks like today on her first birthday. When I found the photographs of me, holding my number one candle, with my party hat on, I thought Samantha looks exactly like I did at her age. Only with darker hair and eyes.

But then, I found the photos of Dave on his first birthday, holding his number one candle and I thought the same, that Samantha looks exactly like Dave did on his first birthday only he had darker skin and those adorable dimples.

Judge for yourself and let me know, I think it is fair to say Samantha is a pretty good mix of us both. Oh, and one more thing - how hot does Judy look?!