Guilty Mom

I have always been easily guilted. It is something I am working on because I believe that I should do things because I want to, not just because I feel like someone will be upset with me or because I have to do it. At some point you have to trust yourself too but this whole guilt thing can get really out of hand in motherhood.

Because Samantha is a baby and can't tell me "why" she is upset, I automatically blame myself. If she wakes in the night, I can only assume it is because of something I did. If she is hot or cold, or hungry or tired it is hard not to think of a million things I must have done wrong.

She did great on our first plane ride to Florida but once we arrived she had her first major meltdown. She cried hysterically for over an hour - it was horrible and she wasn't quite herself the whole weekend. I'm sure it didn't help that we were in a new place and a lot of different people were trying to hold her and offer suggestions of what I should do. Was it the altitude change, the plane ride, her ears, the people....it is hard not to feel guilty when you don't know what to do to make her happy.

Everyone warned me that the unsolicited advice I complained about in pregnancy here, would continue after the baby is born. Now, according to others, she eats too much, is getting too fat, is out too late, needs to take her nap, etc. I have even had strangers stop me to offer tidbits of advice. Pretty soon I'm going to start replying to them with suggestions on how they should style their hair or lose weight as well!

I've noticed that all my blog posts are beginning to tie together. The biggest lesson that I have had as a mother is to encourage moms, don't offer any advice, be sensitive and think before you talk. Moms are already doubting themselves and worrying about their kids without new reasons from others to feel guilty. I'm going to focus on not being so hard on moms, including myself!