I come from a long line of grudge holders. My grandfather didn't talk to his own brother for over 15 years because of an argument they got in. My mom is pretty bad herself and I might seem like I let things go, but trust me I don't. I've talked before on this blog about how I also have a tendency to feel guilty about things. I've realized that just as it is hard for me to forgive others, it is even harder for me to forgive myself.
So, my number one resolution for 2009 is to let some personal grudges go (I'll work on forgiving the rest of you next year). Below is a short list of some of the things I regularly feel guilty or upset with myself about - but that I am letting go of in 2009.
* About three years ago, I missed a meeting with my CEO because I stayed out late with my coworkers in NYC the night before. I still feel horrible about how irresponsible that was.
* I didn't invite my friend Deirdre to our wedding. Dave made a rule that if we hadn't kept in touch with people we shouldn't invite them. She is a good friend now and I always feel bad she wasn't there.
* I am upset that my labor was so hard and lasted so long. I feel like I should have asked the nurse to get the doctor before I pushed for two hours. Somehow I feel like I could have avoided how horrible the whole experience was.
* I feel bad that I talk about how horrible my labor was when I have such a precious, good natured and beautiful baby.
-- Oh and a side note for my Grandma, none of these things are true. You know I am perfect and I love you.
Here's to letting it go in 2009! Happy New Year!!
3 comments:
Well...you should let go of that, mostly because I never would have remembered it in a million years if you hadn't just reminded me!
Happy New Year!
Matt
My dear sweet granddaughter, I don't feel that guilty is the right word for you. It is compassionate. An old doctor told me one time that compassion means to "suffer with". You and all my daughters are so compassionate. I agree with what your Aunt Paula said about you, "Carly is ALWAYS so nice. She is the nicest girl I know" My sweet pastor says, "One of the ways you know you're saved is when you do something wrong and you feel bad about it." He also says the evil one wants us to feel guilty. So Happy New Year to my loving, compassionate, caring, wonderful, favorite granddaughter. Loving you more each day. Grandma
omg!! i totally agree with you!! i am going to stop holding grudges too. and i'm going to apologize to brian and thank him for being so amazing and cool. my other resolution is going to be to stay super-duper skinny! i mean, i think i mentioned it before, but i am so tiny!
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