One of the many surprises that I've had since becoming a mom is how attached I am to Samantha. I just never thought I would be one of "those moms" who has a hard time being away from her. We have been incredibly lucky to have both of our parents close by. Not only does my mom watch Samantha while we work but both of our parents watch Samantha on a regular basis. In fact, Samantha is nearing 2.5 years old and we have paid a babysitter twice. That's right...two times. Samantha never even saw the babysitter those two times because the babysitter came after we had put her to bed. This is not just a huge benefit in cost savings but it means that Samantha is always with someone who really, really loves her. This means the world to me.
A few months ago, my mom joined a program at church that meets every Wednesday for a few hours and has a preschool program. I keep meaning to write about this but I'm a little embarrassed at my own progress. The first time I dropped her off, they sort of whisked her away so that I couldn't draw out the goodbye process. I went to my car and cried. Samantha has loved the program, she announced early on that she was a big girl and would not cry when she went to class. She plays with the other kids, reads stories, does art and tells us all about it. But, no matter how many times I drop her off there I still feel a little sick when I have to leave. I'm the weird mom who lingers in the hall and peeks in to make sure she is doing alright. Guess what? She is always fine. I guess the good news is I do it. I don't like it but I do let her go.
I went and toured a preschool last week where Samantha will likely go for a few mornings starting this summer. It was very nice and had amazing play rooms and theaters and gym equipment. Samantha didn't even come with me but I'll admit I felt overwhelmed thinking about having to leave her there. I'm having visions of being this crazy mom crying every day as she goes to high school! I'm curious if I'll do better with baby number two or if I'll always struggle with this.
1 comment:
Oh Carly, this is such a hard thing. Just be glad she is happy--can you imagine that Luke just stopped crying last week? Two and a half months of crying at drop off. Granted, it only lasted about 20 seconds the last 6 weeks, but now he cries to GO to school! I am sure that once baby #2 arrives you will be grateful to give Samantha the gift of playing with other little kids---and to give yourself a little alone time with the new baby. FYI, all you do when they are gone is look at the clock and think about what they are doing. For example, I know it is 12:15 and both boys are finishing lunch. That comforts me---I know how much they both love eating!! I hope it will help you:).
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